Issues

It has been brought to my attention by two separate people that i don't see them as men. Really, dude seriously, you want to go that way? SMH! To paraphrase Katt Williams, it's called SELF-ESTEEM! It's esteem of your self. How am I gonna eff up how you feel about yourself you simple man ? 

 In other words, grow a pair. I still don't understand why people worry about what others think or say about them.  There are people who are worth the trouble and then there is the rest.  Go figure!

Its sucks sitting here feeling like this. I hate this feeling yet time and again i find myself going through it. Am in the most pain i have ever known, alone, wishing that he or my family was near so that i could have someone to tell me that it will be well. Maybe rub my back, pass the hot water bottle or just hold me. Some days like today i hate being a woman. I cant eat, drink and missed work on days when i have important meetings and need to prove myself. Am tired of this whole thing yet in another few weeks i will be right here again, in pain, alone, in tears and wishing that it was different. There has to be another way really, there must be.
I really can't call my mum because she will only worry and i don't want to be a bother to anyone. Here's to me being strong, somehow have to make it to work tomorrow missed enough already. Still, i wish i wasn't alone just for tonight. Chin up, I will get though this!