Its past 1am in the morning and i cant sleep. For some reason am feeling vulnerable even though i just spoke to him who makes all things better. I have been known to be a strong woman but this one time i don't want to be strong i want to be able to crumble and have someone hold me.I wonder how it feels to be able to just let go and be weak even for an instance, you know not to have all things together and composed. I wish you were here since you would know what to do with a not-so-together me. I know i will put on a brave face tomorrow and face the world but in the immortal words of Gladys Knight & the Pips:-

Take The Ribbon From My Hair
Shake It Loose And Let It Fall
Layin' Soft Against Your Skin
Like The Shadows On The Wall
Come And Lay Down By My Side
'Til The Early Morning Light
All I'm Taking Is Your Time
Help Me Make It Through The Night

I Don't Care What's Right Or Wrong
I Wont Try To Understand
Let The Devil Take Tomorrow
For Tonight I Need A Friend

Yesterday Is Dead And Gone
And Tomorrow's Out Of Sight
And It's So Sad To Be Alone
Help Me Make It Through The Night

Labels: Mafeelings, thinking aloud...

This weekend found me as a bridesmaid at one of my girls wedding.Iam all for getting married and I intend to do so some day. The wedding went well, despite starting late but the most important thing is that girlie is a Mrs. I always thought that when the day comes I will be in a white dress, relatives singing, Ma crying, my dad giving the guy a look but a few things have changed. I got to a point where a civil ceremony started looking really good considering that most weddings in .ke cost on average Kshs. 700,000 (approx USD 10,000) at least by the committees that I have sat on. Wedding committees, I have afew choice words that I would like to say about them. I have major issues with asking people for money and/or help so for me the theory is that if me and mine do not have the money to finance the wedding then a civil wedding would be a good option or at least in church with our witnesses only then throw a small party later.

On Sartuday after the groom’s side came to the bride’s place to pick her up as is required and were done singing their hearts out as expected, came the part that had almost the whole room in tears. The groom’s parents came into the house for the handover, before that was done the parents of the bride were asked to say something. When both parents spoke, it was such an emotional moment; you could hear the pride in their voices. I got to thinking I wonder what my folks would say to not having the chance to give me away, while my parents are very open minded then again.

Note that am not about to get married, maybe in a couple of years,yet can't help but think how long this feeling will last. Is it really worth spending all that money on one day, it’s only a wedding right? After all people will still find fault no matter how good the wedding is. Is the pressure and stress of planning a wedding worth it? Isn’t the most important part that you are now joined together, do we have to invite the whole clan? Someone help me understand why incur debt so as to have a big wedding?

Congratulations and Happiness to all who have taken the big step.

Labels: Love, thinking aloud...

Greetings, yes its been a long minute. I need to figure out what about me attracts other women. I keep getting hit on women who for some reason think i might be willing or curious with offers of "if you are ever curious". Mostly i will smile and say i am not the least bit curious and only do men. The thing that fascinates me about these suitors if i may call them that, is that their game is so on point you wouldn't believe it. They complement,make small talk, make nice with the people you are with then go after you.
While am terribly flattered, i need to come up with a way to resolve this or to say no politely. Any ideas?

Labels: thinking aloud...