24 March 2011

My Heart's Desire

I am one of those people who came to the City (read Nairobi)  to campus then got jobs and i have lived here for close to twelve years making this city my home. Having grown up in the countryside, the way i look at life is sometimes very different than that of my friends who are born and bred here. Growing and to date my father is the indisputable head of the family, the provider and the one who solves all problems. Whenever my siblings and i wanted anything there was a chain of command to follow, you would ask Ma who would get back to you on what they decided. All decisions at our house started with  "we have decided.." and the only way to get that decision changed was to show cause. My mother was your typical African woman she would go to work, come home, ensure that homework is done, dinner is cooked. Looking back i am amazed at how she balanced her family, work, active church membership and women's group among others. When my dad got home it seemed as though time stopped then we would talk of the day, any issues were handled and as was tradition goodies were handed out either tropical mints or chocolate depending on money. I have never seen my parents fight since such was reserved for closed doors. From my childhood, i have always known that men take care of their women and women take care of their men.

Unfortunately the more i grew up the more i got a reality check that not all men love their women and treat them as they should yet there are those who want to but don't know how. On our part as women, we sometimes make it hard for the men to love and take care of us.  Being a bit more mature am able to have candid conversations with my parents about what makes a marriage last 40 years this December. When i pictured my life at this point i would be married with children and maybe a life very similar to what my mother had only version 2.0. Looking at the people i know who are now married and some of their marriages are  not working out, or even just looking at the rate of failed marriages am very concerned. While i admit that my parents marriage is not perfect, they must be doing something right to be able to raise a good family and still be together after all this time.I want to get married some day and one of my biggest prayers is that when that time comes i am the Proverbs 31 Woman realistically it won't happen at once but i pray that its the end result.