I decided to take last Friday off seeing that Thursday was labor day hence left me with four days to bum and goof off. I did manage to participate in one of those conversations *smh*... It was said that for any woman to keep her man she has to be strict with him. Apparently, men need to be chaperoned to ensure good behavior. Supposedly this is meant to explain why some women want to know where their man is, who he is with, what they are doing and what time he will be home.
In my opinion, if your partner wants to cheat on you no amount of chaperoning will prevent them from doing it. The person will find opportunity in the strangest of places and do it. I would like to believe at the point in time we are dating, you know what you want.Secondly, should a time come and you feel that i no longer meet the criteria you should have the decency to let me know so that we can call it quits. This thing of recruiting his boys or his boys' girlfriends to look out for you is pure gas. My ma says that you should know when to stay and fight and when to walk away. I am assuming that at the point where i launch inquisitions into your whereabouts, doings and recruit spies, it means i don't trust you. Without trust there is no relationship, this is one of the pillars to any relationship. If that is the way to keep a man hallo spinsterhood just because there is some stunts i just wont do.
True, when two people get into a relationship, they should act like the responsible adults that they are. Furthermore, when you look at it vizuri, cheating is very expensive, and inconvenient.
ReplyDeletewell said.I was cheering at the "if a partner wants to cheat, no amount of chaperoning will prevent it" then by the time I got to "without trust there is no relationship"- I was halleluya-ring.
ReplyDeleteI heard Chris Rock say, " a man is as faithful as his options" and at the time I laughed- lets just say my laughter has long since been silenced.
TRUST- ONLY FIVE LETTERS BUT MEAN THE WORLD.
ebu check your gmail at the end of today (becoz I have not YET sent the e-mail but will have by day's end)-about Bongo
Kweli kabisa! it aint worth it
ReplyDeleteYes gal ditto. Very well said and summed without trust there is no relationship just a lie and wste of time.
ReplyDeleteand it has to be taxing to keep tabs on someone for a lifetime or however long you plan on being with them.
ReplyDeleteif there isn't trust in the relationship...then no point of staying in it
That only works for mama's boys, most men will after sometime just say it is not worth it, and end the realationship, I know I have.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness, it was before I had any kids with the women. At first whiff of bossiness, and snooping I dump them. I feel if people I do business with can take me for my word, and then the person I am in a relationship with had better be able to take me at my word. I am an open book, don't have anything to hide, but am not looking for a mother. Another thing, that is the surest way to kill any bedroom desire!!!
Unless the dude is a soft dude, once you start putting him on lock down that is the beginning of the end.
ReplyDeleteIf a dude is bound to cheat he will cheat.
Theoretically you are very right, everyone, every woman knows this.
ReplyDeleteBut in real life the moment we see something suspicious and or slight change in behavior we start thinking all sorts of things! its wrong we all know but we try as hard as we can to hold on! Its human nature! People, both men and women cheat all the time, how do we all react? How easy is it to just shrug your shoulders and say "oh well, akwende!" hebu raise your hand if you havent called to check up where your partner is? Love (or whatever it is) changes people..
3toc, get typing asap. Chris rock was on point there and yes its not so funny especially when it becomes real.Bongo, next Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteBomseh,my sentiments exactly each should know the value of their commitment to each other. Cheating is just too much work.
Nakeel, Xs:choices people have to make.
3n:keeping tabs is just too much work especially for a lifetime. You have to draw the line at some point.
Anon & Aco: well said.
HnH,i actually dont call to find out where you are i am yet to do it. The walking away hurts like hell but would you rather do it now or later. You try to fight for something but if you are the only one fighting for it then its time to let go, hurt but at least half the stress is gone. I agree being in love or whatever changes people causing them to do strange things.
i think it smirks of insecurity on your part to take that kind of rubbish- when you begin to conduct undercover experiments on your S.O. its time to bounce!
ReplyDeleteA man doesn't need two mothers. If he wants to go, I always say that mi nuh 'ave any tree a grow inna mi face. There'll be someone who'll appreciate my worth.
ReplyDeleteI so agree. A pal of mine a while ago told me 'It doesn't matter whether he's here (Kenya) or in place X, if he wants to cheat he will cheat on you right under your nose no matter how short a leash yu keep on him'.
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side though I tend to agree with hNh. That ish is not always black and white. When you throw marriage or kids into the equation that area becomes blurred at best...how do you just up and go? As in all things, TRUST applies where both parties are honorable decent people and there's an extreme shortage of that in the world today.
JayKay
I agree...I'm not a babysitter...therefore its not my job to keep tabs on you..should the man decide widen his options..the honourable thing would be to just come out and say it...
ReplyDeleteI'm with 3TOC on the cheering...wich it was that easy in real life though
* wish..lol...my mothertongue influence there...I was getting worked up..haha
ReplyDeleteLife has wayyyy too many other problems to add 'watching the man'. What about long distance relationships? Yes, it's much better for a gal to find a man she can trust, rely on, rather than try to turn Mr. Frog into the Prince.
ReplyDeleteSo ture, if a partnew intends to cheat, he/she will cheat no matter what the other partner does. Successful relationships are based on commitment and trust, bonded by love.
ReplyDeleteas some folks say here "blow is a must" which means that cheating will happen despite whatever you do. it's cynical, yes, but accepting that could lead to a lot less stress. of course, that's just my opinion. maybe if i were to find my girl cheating i'd be singing a different tune.
ReplyDeleteam taking notes!
ReplyDeleteumenena...kweli trust is key.
ReplyDeleteif the mongo is into stunts you don't have to be his trusty assistant
i havent been to ur blog for so long...
ReplyDelete