17 June 2006


Got this via mail,interesting....
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

You have two cows.
You worship them.
Oh and you fight with all your might to prevent the Pakistanis from
getting anywhere near them!

You don't have any cows.
You ask the US for financial aid,China for military aid,
British for warplanes,Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,French for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,Russia for drugs
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation
by the developed world.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you and you start a long, bitter
fight to reclaim "your property".......

You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally
that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You start a "shock and awe" campaign against that nation.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years,
eat once a month and milk themselves.

You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.

You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are 1/10TH the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called
Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

You declare it the Year of the Red Cow.
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity
and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers...

Me broda yo.....
You come up with a very lucrative deal to export cows.
You don't actually have any cows but manage to somehow get a deposit from
the farmer on the deal.
You hire a cow from somewhere and export it to the farmer, but not before
it ingets some "high performance nutrient pellets"
You sell the cow but only after you have passed the airport and somehow
extracted the high nutrient pellets.
You deliver the cow which dies within days.
By then you have already moved 3 continents away and started the process
all over again.

You have two cows, you borrow two cows.
No one feeds them.
You hire expatriates to confirm starvation.
You hire South African expatriate veterenarians to feed the cows.
You deny the Kenyan veterenarians (who would cost much less than the South
Africans) work permits.
You claim neo-colonialism!

You get the guerilla cow from the bush.
It starts off by being quite productive.
The guerilla cow "styles up" and moves in to take control of the farm.
The guerilla cow becomes savvy and outsmarts all other cows on the farm.
It arrests other cows for treason and rape.
The guerilla cow then unofficially declares itself Leader of the National
Farm Movement and changes the constitution to give itself an extra term in

You have two cows.
You eat both of them.You organize a large nyama choma bash.
Complete with a one man guitar-(by the way did you ever hear of a guitar
played by more than one man?)
Your bash irks the neighbours who cause a scene (Lucy Kibaki style) and
generates scandal in the local papers for at least a week.
You blame the former President and his regime for any shortages or
You start a Commission of Inquiry to look into the matter, then vow to
have radical surgery to address the plight of those lost cows.
You hire Kroll and Associates to recover those lost(or dead cows) from the
stomachs of those who ate them.
You ignore their findings and constitute a Committee of Eminent Persons to
look at the issue afresh.
You ask donor partners to give another two cows ............to eat!


  1. I'm not the only one in the office on a saturday? Haven't been here in a while. The template looks nice. Very nice.

    Enjoy the weekend.

  2. LOL! And then two guys from Armenia show up and start drawing guns in the cow-shed!

    Nice template ...

  3. Cool template.
    That email always jazzes me

  4. Then the donors refuse togive you more cows because you have decided to get cosy with China, and you are left begging for relief food now!

  5. lovely furniture for your new place...

  6. sasa now why is my te,plate so Fuuuugly??

    Hi kamum...

    I love yours.

    Me I have gone back to Odds and ends again.

  7. GADDAMN where are u guys gettingthis templates from

  8. ha!! and then the bull hooks up with another cow than later swears it didnt even know her!!

  9. You're sitting pretty mama..i like..

  10. oh the template!!! gorgeous!! lush!!! yummmmmm