28 September 2006

Breasts Galore

October being breast cancer month,FYI
There will be a free breast clinic, sponsored by Safaricom,
that is taking place at KICC from today (28/9/2006) till Saturday
30/9/2006) from 9.00am to 5.00pm.

I have to say whats with men and breasts, below are some of the names that they are called:-
 bazookas (plural, slang, large breasts)
 bazoomies (plural, slang, large breasts)
 bee bite (slang, small breasts)
 beer glass (plural, slang, large breast, from the set of champagne, wine, and beer glasses)
 berthas (plural, slang, large breasts, from large German artillery gun in WWI)
 big berthas (plural, slang, large breasts, from large German artillery gun in WWI)
 big McDuffs (plural, slang, large breasts)
 blouse bunnies (plural, slang)
 boob (slang)
 boobie (slang)
 bosom (plural)
 boulders (plural, slang, derived from “over the shoulder boulder holder” for “bra”)
 brace and bits (plural, slang)
 breast (anatomy)
 bristols (British slang, one source claims from British WWI fighter aircraft called the Bristol Fighter, contracted to “Brisfit”, which rhymed with tit, while another source claims from the Bristol City soccer team)
 bubbies (plural, slang)
 bubs (plural, slang)
 buds (plural, slang, small breasts)
 buffers (plural, slang)
 cantaloups (plural, slang)
 cantaloupes (plural, slang)
 champagne glass (plural, slang, small breast, from the set of champagne, wine, and beer glasses)
 chi-chi (slang)
 chubbies (plural, slang, large breasts)
 coconuts (plural, slang, large breasts)
 Dolly Partons (plural, slang large breasts, from the country singer)
 double barrel (plural, slang)
 Double Lotus Peak (plural, Taoist spiritual)
 droppers (plural, slang, large breasts)
 dugs (plural, slang)
 dumplings (plural, British slang)
 fun cushions (plural, slang)
 globes (plural, slang, large breasts)
 grapefruits (plural, slang, large breasts)
 headlights (plural, slang)
 hooters (plural, slang, large breasts)
 hummers (plural, slang)
 jugs (plural, slang, large breasts)
 knobs ((plural, slang)
 knockers (plural, slang, large breasts)
 light and bitter (plural, British slang, a joke about a barmaid having the two main types of English beer tattooed on her breasts)
 lungs (plural, slang)
 mammary (anatomy)
 melon (slang, large breast)
 milk wagons (plural, slang, large breasts)
 muffins (plural, slang, small breasts)
 norks (plural, slang)
 pair (plural, slang)
 puppies (plural, slang, large breasts)
 rack (slang)
 ski slopes (plural, slang)
 tabs (plural, slang, small breasts)
 ta tas (plural, slang)
 teat (the nipple, slang when applied to whole breast)
 thirty-eights (plural, slang, large breasts)
 thr’penny bits (plural, British slang)
 tit (slang)
 tittie (or titty)(slang)
 twin mounds (plural, slang)
 top bullocks (plural, slang)
 tweeters (plural, slang, small breasts)
 twin mounds (plural, slang)
 twin peaks (plural, slang)
 twins (plural, slang)
 udder (downward hanging bag of cow, female goat, or other milk producing animals, slang when applied to human breasts)
 voos (plural, slang)
 wine glass (plural, slang, medium-size breast, from the set of champagne, wine, and beer glasses)
 woofers (plural, slang, large breasts)

27 September 2006

Jammed, love and LOL

So i was stuck in jam this morning not that its anything to write home about but this time i was devoid of my usual book that blinds me from all other ongoing activity.Public transport bah! you know,i am very picky when getting into matatus in the morning i simply cant stand the Boom Twaf, the loud music involved. What makes it worse is when they have those miniature video screens showing the video of the song in question. Then on one of those days, they have to show some sex laced video and i got to thinking isnt it a bit too early for sex video but then again what do i know right...My choice is normally with matatus playing slow music and no music ata all.
So i chose a rickety rickshaw but it was quiet and so i relaxed and was looking out of the window.Of course i was cursing the Jam notwithstanding that had i left earlier then i wouldnt have had to contend with all these. Being one of those mornings when as i wait for my heater to behave itself decided that the rug is dirty cleaned a bit then the floor then shucks its 6:30 and yes the water overheated. After that we are running all through. So there are these two street people who are sleeping next to some makeshift sheds under the open sky i got to thinking that i really should shut up about not having because they clearly stand for not having.
I often come across children being walked to school.You can clearly tell that they are not from well to do families but my heart is moved just by the folks who will get out of be prepare this darlings and get them upto the gate and stand there as they wave goodbye over and over again and keep turning to see if mummy or daddy is still there. You will oft see them waving and others even hug goodbye that for me is really cool. The other two things that remind me of love is babies and weddings... Now babies , i love especially when they are really tiny and grab your little finger that for me is really oooh. Weddings ahem now the couple is all lovey and all. Asid form allthe relatives who came via Meru Sacco Express, Riakanau express or some strange means with banana leaves stuck on. Is it just me that most couples seem to have their won stories as the reception goes and their own private jokes.After all is said and done i have come to the conclusion that these two(babies and weddings) are best when they belong to someone else.
Being a wednesday that started with dramatic meetings at work,my day has been made by one modoathii url http://madcouch.blogspot.com so modos i owe you one. Thank you.
Happy midweek Y'all

26 September 2006

Challenges, Age and living in Nairobi

This week or at least whats left of it is Banned Books Week. I discovered that the most challenged books of the 21st Century (2000-2005) are:

1. Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

2. "The Chocolate War" by Robert Cormier

3. Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

4. "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck

5. "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou

6. "Fallen Angels" by Walter Dean Myers

7. "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie Harris

8. Scary Stories series by Alvin Schwartz

9. Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey

10. "Forever" by Judy Blume

For more information tembelea http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bannedbooksweek.htm

Of Age, happy birthday Mental, many happy returns to you

Got his forma friend, here goes:-

You know you're from Nairobi....
The person in front of you in traffic this morning was hijacked and you got irritated because you missed the green on the traffic light.
·You have a minimum of five worst matatu stories.
·While waiting at the ATM, the bank is robbed by armed gunmen, but you'll be damned if you're going to lose your place in the queue. ..
·You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
·The last time you drove your car without swearing at someone was when you took your driving test.
·It takes you an hour and a half to drive 5km to work in the morning and you think "wow, good traffic day."
·Every time you find your car parked where you left it you are genuinely surprised….
·You can get into a four-hour argument about the quickest way out of Nairobi after work on a Friday, but can't find South B on a map…
·You've seriously considered shooting someone…
·You at one point thought Buruu was a district on its own…
·The fake bouncer at your local pub calls you by your second name….
·You have more barbed wire around your home than Kamiti Prison.
·You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
·You consider a postage-stamp sized patch of grass a garden.
·You consider Thika the 'countryside'.
·You happily pay Kshs 120/= for a beer at K2, but think Kshs 25/= for a loaf of bread is a disgrace.
·You own a 4x4 or a serious car (on loan), still live in a rented house & u've never considered taking a house loan.
·You actually take fashion seriously…..
·You have 20 different menus in your house, all of which go with ugali.
·You consider going to coast & camping at Bob's as grand holiday
·You've forgotten that you lied to your loandlord twice that your auntie died hence the long wait in paying your rent.
·You'll always brag of knowing so & so who left the country for states and is far doing well.
·You've never considered being the beverage manager at a local hotel but wouldn't mind the same at Kenya Breweries Ltd.
·You greet the kiosk owner at home by his name at mid-month coz you are already begging for some vegetables.
·Even the police pause momentarily at a red light before driving on late at night, so as to avoid being victim of hijacking..
·Your mother in law is not in the least bit your best friend.
·You have atleast one relative who's a teacher.
·Your conversations always start with..... 'me I' blah blah blah.

Happy Tuesday to y'all.