1 August 2007

Prayers & Influences

First, happy new month. The last six weeks have been an emotional roller coaster yet i chose to hang on. In the same period i have prayed more than ever and by prayer not kneeling more like all the time under my breath to God for guidance and wisdom. I asked God to show me a sign, i felt that He took so long and maybe my prayers were bouncing back i enlisted the support of my mother who in turn asked my dad and siblings in. They all didn't know what was going on but they kept at it asking that i be granted wisdom, guidance and strength. I think i have known the answer for a while but just didn't want to believe it since it wasn't what i was expecting and God has showed me signs that i chose to ignore for the same reason.Last night the answer came loud and clear.First i panicked then called Ma and after talking i was filled with peace and a sense of relief. I then got this feeling that sometimes we are too keen asking for God to open doors and maybe what we should be asking is that He closes some doors. Yet some doors have opened too wider than i ever thought.
I don't like the person that i am when am with you. I let myself become the kind of woman i have always prayed not to be yet still i have learnt that am still optimistic and discovered that i am at the end of the day a great person. Maybe i should be sad and hurt that we can no longer be but i cant help but feel relieved that we no longer are. Does this mean that it was all in my head? I must admit that i have learnt a lot from and do know where to draw the line. All the same am glad you came my way.


  1. evidently leo inexes amelala and let me secure position first- fast

  2. secured. there is a country song I heard when I was like 16 that had words to the effect, sometime I thank God for un-answered prayer.just becoz He doesn't answer, doesn't mean He don't care. Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayer."

    Do we always get an answer when we pray? I dunno maybe we do but becoz it is not the asnwer we are looking for, we fail to see it. WHERE IS GOD WHEN IT HURTS? THE SAME PLACE HE WAS, WHEN HIS SON AS DYING FOR US. RIGHT THERE.

    And when you really can't see Him, He gave you ma.And Ma knows.

    Praying that the same peace you are feelng today, you feel in the days following. We see but a snap shot of our lives, God He write the book.

  3. Ok. 3TOC ni nini jamani? eish sawa tu. wacha ni book namba mbee

  4. Whao.

    its funny - i cant remember the last time i prayed. well i cant remember the last service i attended.... was is it in 1997..?

  5. Am not going to pry but seriously hope that you're doing ok.

  6. Turning to God is always the best choice. Mum too! You will be ok

  7. I shall go with the cliche on this one if you will pardon me dear. With time you shall be able to look back nary a flinch and say, it was a phase, i learnt and moved on.


  8. That piece sounds so close to home, and so gut-wrenchingly real. I hope you're ok too, but more importantly I'm happy for you, that you were able to see through the noise, and the hope, and that you had the wisdom to see things clearly, the strength to walk away.

  9. @3TOC
    WOW! Kumbe there's that serious part of u too!!!
    Gal u will make it! Everything happens 4 a purpose!Thank God still

  10. woiyeee...is it Mwendwa? ((((((((Gish))))), we live, we love, we learn. Keep your head up and take the lessons with you mami

  11. 3TOC,i believe that prayers are always answered if we listen we will know the answer. thank God for my mother.
    Inexes, maybe its time to start again
    Farmgal,am ok. looking to talk to you.added you to my gmail.
    Kirima i know i will be i have too much support not to be.
    Aegeus,thanks for the shoulder.
    Jade, am ok sometimes we have to do stuff we would rather not.Am actually very grateful.You will be ok too.
    Klara, am thanking him you have no idea. That was close and know the purpose.
    KM thanks and it happens, c'est la vie

  12. Its not all that well in the castle right?

  13. not well shiroh,my dear the cookie has crumbled.

  14. @3TOC, kumbe there is an ounce of seriousness in you….I am surprised.

  15. First let me wish you the best. Second it is good when I see someone and especially a lady realize that they can be just okay on their own and do not have to stay in a situation that does not enrich their own lives.

    Good Luck and stay cheered up.

  16. Prayers work miracles. You will be fine, babes!


  17. Next time...pray to God without asking quick fair answers..

    Look, Jesus said he would be coming back soo 2000 years ago and we still wait till date..thats if you are reading this before the world has ended...

    It could end before you read this..
    So may be patience pays...so keep praying..

    Akii for your hective weeks, take heart and hope for a better tomorrow....

  18. @inexes...eeeih!!!you cannot remember the last time you prayed....

    Aki you need Benny Hinn now...can any local pastor kama priest manage you.

    LOL...just kidding ....

  19. ((((((((((((Gish))))))))))))
    Keep your chin up dear!

  20. hmmm,
    when a person or a situation makes you become someone else and pick up personality traits that are not to healthy - there is a need to reevaluate the person or the situation.

    But i hope that you will be okay....

    take care,

  21. you will be alright. prayers work wonders.

  22. wow,just came by and you are truly someone i shall return to read on ,meanwhile i think i shall copy/paste that thingie you got tagged fromyou, i like it

  23. 3N& Pammy, thank you its a tough call but its got to be done.
    Quint& Poi, they work.
    Eddie karibu and thank you, am working on my patience all in good time.
    thanks chatterly.
    Lulu karibu, be my guest and looking forward to seeing more of you.

  24. ((Ma Richie)) Its gonna be alright. Trust everything happens for a reason.

  25. gatheremede ,

    lakini si i like your blog .

  26. deep, very. Guess sometimes we shouldn't ask for somethings coz when we get them, then we are overwhelmed. Keep the faith, it encourages us all.

  27. hey sis,
    just wonna say we've been through worse we shall overcome this!!!!!!!!!!!!!But don't be sorry you ever loved it hurts but its better than not ever loving