First, happy new month. The last six weeks have been an emotional roller coaster yet i chose to hang on. In the same period i have prayed more than ever and by prayer not kneeling more like all the time under my breath to God for guidance and wisdom. I asked God to show me a sign, i felt that He took so long and maybe my prayers were bouncing back i enlisted the support of my mother who in turn asked my dad and siblings in. They all didn't know what was going on but they kept at it asking that i be granted wisdom, guidance and strength. I think i have known the answer for a while but just didn't want to believe it since it wasn't what i was expecting and God has showed me signs that i chose to ignore for the same reason.Last night the answer came loud and clear.First i panicked then called Ma and after talking i was filled with peace and a sense of relief. I then got this feeling that sometimes we are too keen asking for God to open doors and maybe what we should be asking is that He closes some doors. Yet some doors have opened too wider than i ever thought.
I don't like the person that i am when am with you. I let myself become the kind of woman i have always prayed not to be yet still i have learnt that am still optimistic and discovered that i am at the end of the day a great person. Maybe i should be sad and hurt that we can no longer be but i cant help but feel relieved that we no longer are. Does this mean that it was all in my head? I must admit that i have learnt a lot from and do know where to draw the line. All the same am glad you came my way.