1 September 2009

Just Married

This weekend found me as a bridesmaid at one of my girls wedding.Iam all for getting married and I intend to do so some day. The wedding went well, despite starting late but the most important thing is that girlie is a Mrs. I always thought that when the day comes I will be in a white dress, relatives singing, Ma crying, my dad giving the guy a look but a few things have changed. I got to a point where a civil ceremony started looking really good considering that most weddings in .ke cost on average Kshs. 700,000 (approx USD 10,000) at least by the committees that I have sat on. Wedding committees, I have afew choice words that I would like to say about them. I have major issues with asking people for money and/or help so for me the theory is that if me and mine do not have the money to finance the wedding then a civil wedding would be a good option or at least in church with our witnesses only then throw a small party later.

On Sartuday after the groom’s side came to the bride’s place to pick her up as is required and were done singing their hearts out as expected, came the part that had almost the whole room in tears. The groom’s parents came into the house for the handover, before that was done the parents of the bride were asked to say something. When both parents spoke, it was such an emotional moment; you could hear the pride in their voices. I got to thinking I wonder what my folks would say to not having the chance to give me away, while my parents are very open minded then again.

Note that am not about to get married, maybe in a couple of years,yet can't help but think how long this feeling will last. Is it really worth spending all that money on one day, it’s only a wedding right? After all people will still find fault no matter how good the wedding is. Is the pressure and stress of planning a wedding worth it? Isn’t the most important part that you are now joined together, do we have to invite the whole clan? Someone help me understand why incur debt so as to have a big wedding?

Congratulations and Happiness to all who have taken the big step.


  1. I don't have the answers but don't understand the rationale behind big weddings either. I consider my guy lucky.It's mainly only women who want the show right?

  2. Well, if i have my way, there shall be no wedding. Me, I want an AG ceremony with five people ONLY. Me, Manno, Princess, best man & best maid, coz I think these are the only people who have an actual stake in the marriage - everyone else is an interferer. The best couple are ideally peacemakers in case of a fight, yeah?

    Then after that we can have a big kenyan-style nyamachoma bash for everyone else and they can do the mushy speeches and crying and giving away and what not. Saves on the hustle plus the cost of hiring cars and making clothes and stuff too.

    And I am not wearing white!

    Hehehe, I'm not helping, am I? *grin*

  3. I have always said and stand by it and I may be about to be sit on this one- I am paying for my wedding WAPENDE,WASIPENDE.My wedding my way, okay his view might count(hehehehehe)-he paying too,We are paying for it.
    I think that making people pay, loses the "my wedding" bit alaafu because people have contributed they want to have a say.Sii the cash is theirs!

    My wedding- hopefully I will be allowed to do the whole church, dinner and then after-party thing.The most important bit about this day for me- wait for it- is me and my girlfriends dancing through the songs that have made my life my life.The rest of my life belongs to the dude after that.I am trying to work out whether I would want to be tormented by a senga before hand or not!

  4. Honestly, I don't see the big deal about weddings. If I had my way, I'd do exactly what Crystal has said...run along to the AG, sign the damn papers and head for a bash of some sort.

    This huge weddings that seriously dent someone's pocket are not worth it. But that's just me....

    Halafu what is with having wedding committees? Personally I wouldn't have one and I wouldn't participate in one either. My reasoning is, if one can't afford that wedding he/she wants, si there's always the AG option. Better yet, they don't have to get married until they're ready, yeah?

    Again...that's just me.

  5. I understand it's a very special day and a special moment, but I don't intend to start my married life in debt just to have a big wedding.

  6. @PKW, Women and their families are the ones who want to show off that their daughter has done right.
    @3CB,am beggining to hear you, especially when you dont have money. As loong as you are happy that is the best thing.If i do the church thing am wearing white.
    @3TOC, I alsoave to pay for it that way its my way no committees or unwanted advice. Call me for the Senga sessions.
    @sibbie you speak for me. Am not into big weddings either, i could do wth a few frinds and family.
    @Stunner Better to save the money or pay more for your honeymoon.

  7. I think it would be too much to pay the dowry then splash more unrefundble cash at in the wedding ceremony. So I think no, wedming is just a ceremony and if u can't afford it don't torture ur friendz by forcing them to join a weding committee .

  8. only do such a wedding if I am a politician. Not just a politician, when am in parliament. Just for the show. Otherwise, I'll get a broker. Someone to get me the papers, sign, then ruch where wifey will be, sign, evening we meet I give ring and have a nice dinner. Meanwhile broker processes papers and I get the certificate in two days or so.

    I have sat in 5 committees this year and it has driven me nuts! literally.

    Then something about these weddings, why do the grooms parents got to get the bride from her home but they dont walk her down the isle in church? Its her parents who do that! If i am marrying, I think thats a prt I would like to edit in my wedding.

  9. If someone wants a big wedding, they should be able to pay for it at least. I'm for the AG or small intimate church wedding.

  10. The smaller, more intimate the better. This mambo of having uber large weddings where you dont even know half the people there is upuzi kabisa!

    Otherwise uko sawa?

  11. I'm commenting ages later, I know. Everyone should have and pay for the wedding they wish for. I think it is rather odd that people help raise money for weddings that is the equivalent of a down payment on a home, or a buying a car. But that's me- some people like the finery and all the dress-up involved in the wedding. My wedding was a Ksh 20,000 civil affair with a representative from the Registrar of Marriage's office and about 40 people in my parents' front yard with lunch served- nothing fancy but intimate and meaningful as if it had been in a cathedral done up in roses and incense...which was what we wanted. Now, the 25th anniversary party? All I can say is that it will be the biggie...complete with disco ball and ice sculptures, over the top hats and flowers and and and...

  12. If I had had my way, we would have eloped and combined our wedding and the honeymoon in the maldives...just the two of us.

    But I'm sure our parents and close pals would have felt left out so, we settled for the middle ground; a small ish ceremony for which we still ended up spending quite a bit, which we had saved up aggressively over about 8 months for. And how I danced and connected with my pals! That was the best part...the chance to have a one on one with the guests.

    The interesting thing is 1.5 years down the line I still meet people who want to cuss me out for not inviting them to my wedding. You can never please everyone.