31 March 2007


A lot has been happening and thank God its by large positive, answers to my prayers that part of me had given up on. I prayed,asked,begged then figured that if it was to happen then it will happen. Its official and final that in Sept i will be sitting in class again trying to figure out how i used to read till 3am in the morning and trying hard not to doze after a long day at work. I love to read only that i read for pleasure but this is different i have to remember and apply this stuff.Yet sept is just the beginning, am excited and psyched hope it lasts.

I laughed at a friend last week when she asked what she does with a straight face she answered she's a business-girl. Whats with this fear of age and growing old so that we shy away from telling our age? I love being my age wouldn't trade it nor would i do it all over differently. I like to think that am at an age where i know what i want, how, when and what i need to do to get to it and how far i need to go to get it of course with boundaries.

I have had the privilege of dating men most of whom have influenced my thinking and mannerisms in largely a positive way. When we were younger, my friends and i had this list that served as a measure of suitability. There was the firm muscled body, the car, the ability to entertain all night, the looks and for a while that was that. The older i get the more the list has shortened and become realistic. Now there are some things that non-negotiable yet there is the 6-pack that can be traded in for a small to medium keg. With time and experience i have learnt to differentiate what i can compromise or not.

I grew up in church,participated in all things presbyterian and my folks held positions in church. Now am alone here and i still go to church only without consistency. I love God and church its the one place that i fell at peace most just dunno what is happening, i used to be able to do my devotion and pray.Lately somehow there is something happening on Sunday, wake up late or i sleep halfway through my prayers. They say prayer is conversation if so am failing miserably my prayers feel so empty like rehearsed verses.

The other day i realized that i only have a handful of people i can count on.Ever had one of those moments that you need to talk to someone badly. I was not looking for advice i just needed to be heard. So i scrolled through my contacts on phone and eventually picked the one person am not even close to and he dropped everything and heard me out. Called me back after my credit ran out and came over to ensure i was ok.Clearly he just earned double friendship points.Funny how you know so many people yet can count on so few when in trouble then why have all these numbers and yet they mean naught.

I have decided,God willing i want to get married not for children that i can do without the till death but just for the companionship. I look at my folks who now have an empty nest just the two of them and i don't want to grow old alone. for example whenever i visit they will take time to update me on the happenings of the Bold and the Beautiful of course with their opinions about the characters. Its just great to see them hanging out and i want that. While on marriage, what happens when forever doesn't look so daunting?

Oh and yes i will start jogging or pay for that gym that has been on my to-do-list. Yes Stunuh is i could also use some prayers.Or maybe i should join Ichiena in her swimming classes oh the dilemma.


  1. 1st!gr8 that u r going back to school. I am too this summer, and I don't know how I will handle that Finance class aargh.

    Marriage and companionship-->sublime. Thing I ask, does it have to be marriage? can two people belong to each other w/out a marriage?

  2. School. Yup. Thinking about that too. Good for you!

    Friends you can depend on are hard to come by, but once you get them, hold them close!

    Looks like everyone our parents' generation watches B&B. If the producers only knew how popular that show is for that demographic.

    Good luck with everything!

  3. You want to deep your feet in cold water overnight again?! All the best..
    May you find a partner whom you'll grow old with..

  4. I'm glad u are going back to school

    Sometimes we feel torn apart but we gotta keep trying until we get back there

  5. Best of luck in school,
    Good friends are hard to come by especially those that you can be free to share your problems with you are lucky to have someone like that.
    Growing old alone must suck big time therefore best of luck.

  6. best of luck in school again. My brain is fried and I can't go back

  7. Hi
    Best of luck with the school thing. I did go back about a year and a half ago and have no regrets. Hoping to graduate in Dec.

  8. we're getting married soon??that's so coool!!

    oh yes, all the best in you're studies..the sky is the limit! lol

  9. welcome to the world of school!! It can be a drag, but it pays I guess....it had better pay!! Lovely template by the way...im loving it! Friends...totally know what you mean! But thankfully, there are a select few that are great!

  10. Good Luck with chuo. I definitely feel you on that adjustment part. It's waaay different reading 4 fun vis a vis 4 school, but am sure you'll make it ...

  11. thanks for passing by majonzi. school i think am ready for the large part of it. I would rather belong to each other in marriage, i figure if iam going to do something might as well do so in totality. but yes it is possible...
    Egm ,Good friends are rare and when you find one you just cant let go. B&B same script different people funny how our folks are into it. thanks you.
    Farmgal, thank you and i pray the same for you too.yeah kupunguza ujinga lol.
    Prettylyf, me thinks its what we do as while in that state that makes or breaks us.
    Kirima, nobody wants to be alone, i think its finding that person who we can be with that is all the task.
    Bankelele, LOL fried brain, with age it should rejuvenate in time to go back.
    African mama, congratulations in advance i pray i get there. school is a necessity.Karibu sana.
    Betty, married soon ok if soon is in the future LOL. Not yet must be that bio-clock again. Rudi tena.
    kips, it had better pay after the trauma it had better.thanks and thank God for the few good friends.
    Mwangi, i have to remind myself how i used to read major adjustments are called for. but by faith huh!
    thank you for passing by yes all of you...

  12. Powerful thoughts. Think on those same things myself.

  13. Gish, I know exactly how you feel about not being able to find reliable friends when your phone has like 400+ numbers. I've been there. Rather, I AM there! Mpaka I'm thinking of deleting numbers that are just occupying valuable space in the phone book.

    Turudi shuleni! I'm also joining Uni in September, so right now I'm taking a much deserved 9 month break from school and books. Kinda syked up for school coz now I just want to get it over and done with.

  14. interesting perspective.. going back to school is the best thing you can do for yourself am graduating this may with my masters but am going back in spring ... for something higher... i cant imagine not been in a school