31 March 2007

Pause

A lot has been happening and thank God its by large positive, answers to my prayers that part of me had given up on. I prayed,asked,begged then figured that if it was to happen then it will happen. Its official and final that in Sept i will be sitting in class again trying to figure out how i used to read till 3am in the morning and trying hard not to doze after a long day at work. I love to read only that i read for pleasure but this is different i have to remember and apply this stuff.Yet sept is just the beginning, am excited and psyched hope it lasts.

I laughed at a friend last week when she asked what she does with a straight face she answered she's a business-girl. Whats with this fear of age and growing old so that we shy away from telling our age? I love being my age wouldn't trade it nor would i do it all over differently. I like to think that am at an age where i know what i want, how, when and what i need to do to get to it and how far i need to go to get it of course with boundaries.

I have had the privilege of dating men most of whom have influenced my thinking and mannerisms in largely a positive way. When we were younger, my friends and i had this list that served as a measure of suitability. There was the firm muscled body, the car, the ability to entertain all night, the looks and for a while that was that. The older i get the more the list has shortened and become realistic. Now there are some things that non-negotiable yet there is the 6-pack that can be traded in for a small to medium keg. With time and experience i have learnt to differentiate what i can compromise or not.

I grew up in church,participated in all things presbyterian and my folks held positions in church. Now am alone here and i still go to church only without consistency. I love God and church its the one place that i fell at peace most just dunno what is happening, i used to be able to do my devotion and pray.Lately somehow there is something happening on Sunday, wake up late or i sleep halfway through my prayers. They say prayer is conversation if so am failing miserably my prayers feel so empty like rehearsed verses.

The other day i realized that i only have a handful of people i can count on.Ever had one of those moments that you need to talk to someone badly. I was not looking for advice i just needed to be heard. So i scrolled through my contacts on phone and eventually picked the one person am not even close to and he dropped everything and heard me out. Called me back after my credit ran out and came over to ensure i was ok.Clearly he just earned double friendship points.Funny how you know so many people yet can count on so few when in trouble then why have all these numbers and yet they mean naught.

I have decided,God willing i want to get married not for children that i can do without the till death but just for the companionship. I look at my folks who now have an empty nest just the two of them and i don't want to grow old alone. for example whenever i visit they will take time to update me on the happenings of the Bold and the Beautiful of course with their opinions about the characters. Its just great to see them hanging out and i want that. While on marriage, what happens when forever doesn't look so daunting?

Oh and yes i will start jogging or pay for that gym that has been on my to-do-list. Yes Stunuh is i could also use some prayers.Or maybe i should join Ichiena in her swimming classes oh the dilemma.

22 March 2007

...then he made man.

Guess did a pieceWhat do men want. Then i got the following via mail:-
WRITTEN BY A MAN:

Personally I wouldn't marry someone I don't know. You need to know what you
are committing yourself to. After all we are talking about a life-long
commitment. Like the author, I also don't believe that one should be in a
relationship for five years before committing without a sound reason,
whatever that means. The point is: five years is too long a time for two
people to be involved without any progress.

They stay in relationships with hope. My advice to all the women is:
Start from now and ask your long relationship partner what he thinks about
you!

I am a man myself but I am sure that it will not take me years to marry a
woman once I get a right woman with all the qualities or I need, I will get
married immediately. It will not take years, a year will be too long,
and a delay will be caused by arrangements. I also blame you women why
don't you ask your partners?

There are plenty guys who are interested in you but you always tell them
about your boyfriend that you have been involved for 4yrs and you are
happy, my question is if you are happy why are you in relationship for so
long (4yrs) without marriage Women are not clever enough when it comes to
do a feasibility study about men.

WAKE UP AND ASK HIM (boyfriend): What will be my future with you? Do not
take excuses? Tell him your future plans enough is enough ask him what he
is waiting for? If possible give him your parents' address and he must tell
them what he wants from you. If he came to play around with you he will
never come back. You must rather stay without a man rather than wasting
your time with someone who will hurt you and leave you, for how long will
you live like that? Once you are able to do that you will see the
future you were dreaming of.

A RIGHT MAN WHO LOVES YOU WILL COME AND DO THAT. You ladies with long-term
relationships ask your boyfriends today, if he is mumbling, leave him
because you will be depressed one day if you find out that he is getting
married to someone whom he met within 4 months. Imagine (4years =
4months) I am just picturing how your feeling will be? Ladies stay away
from those relationships, they are 3% useful and 97% wasting your time.
There could be someone out there who was going to marry you during this
4yrs maybe it was going to take him a year to marry you but you refused you
wanted to stay in a relationship with no due date. We are all working
according to time (Projects, Deliveries, Purchasing, Contracts, etc.) Why
Not Love Affairs?

I have sisters I always tell them because I want the best for them.
Some of you might not agree but I am sure this can help some of you.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS: "IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE, IN A RELATIONSHIP, BUT
NOT MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS
WITH."

He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for
something better or is waiting for her to become something better. Point
blank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her
his wife. And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5
years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either.
The only reason that a man will get married after that long of a time is
because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's
definitely what he was doing all of those years. So if you should happen to
find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then maybe you
should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is that
you're missing by doing favors for this man who is not willing to
fully commit.

Don't make excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh
he's waiting till he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school"
or "he's waiting until he moves from his apartment to a house". DON'T FOOL
YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!

Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or fiancé' by your
side? So ladies, when you read this think about your situation and that man
that you are living with, or the one that you spend many nights over his
house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father that you are still
in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "ex" that you are in a
sexual relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definitely
think twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years
long and you still have no commitment.

Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation. I've been there
and I know that we can come up with some extremely reasonable excuses,
but.... DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED!

"Ladies, can I get an Amen!!"

And

"Guys, let's be honest"

So what do men want?

3 March 2007

...Like Sunday Morning


I have come to know and admire this acquittance turned friend. I am one of those people if let to have their way would like a sneak preview into my future at least on most days. I would like to know if i my dreams are achieved, the man God has kept for me, my children if ever, down to where and when i will die. Talk of taking the joys of suspense out of the story, ok maybe just the highlights and let me worry about the smaller events. Am your average worrier and control freak, i have this plan of my life where i think what should happen when and have counter plans in the event that the real thing doesn't fly due to one thing or the other. My friend is one of the most chilled out persons i have met, you know taking everything in stride vis a vie me who panics then implements the fall back. After spending time with them am learning how to relax, enjoy the experience and yeah remain calm.I am truly one of those people who the phrase " Be still" was meant for. Not bad for the average busy body maybe i can get used to this i hope its contagious.
For the past two nights i have been working at night and this has left lots of room to think and review and re-strategize.I am learning that life doesn't always follow the script sometimes the forces that be put a spin maybe so that i learn something or maybe for the heck of it. I have learnt that i don't owe anyone an explanation for anything. It has never been clearer that i always have a choice and the choices are more thought out.
Aside:
He always came across to me as the playing type the kind that cannot be held down until the other day when in conversation he mentioned that he was on the BT. So am puzzled because i know he has a girlfriend so i just assumed that he was one of those who wave as the BT passses. Out of curiosity and down right nosey, i asked wassup so he says they decided to wait. Really its been a while since i heard of a couple waiting, that has me thinking... Do couples still wait, i dunno for what but do they still wait?