21 July 2008

Emotion labelled Fear

Fear: be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event; and some of my very own are:-
1. Snakes and creepy crawlies.
2. Scary movies and stories.
They result to nightmares sorted by either sleeping next to someone or Bible plus rosary under my pillow after endless prayers.
3. Snakes coming up the drain pipe or toilet and biting me.
Don't ask have a very active imagination.
4. Growing old alone and having no one to share my life with.
5. Getting married and then it doesn't work out.
6. Failure.
7. Slipping on the tiles and hitting my head hence unconscious or choking to death seeing that i live alone.
8. Loss of family and friends.
9. Being pregnant and raising a child alone.
10. Situations that make me feel helpless or cannot explain.

I have been accused of being a commitment-phobe but i figure am just scared of being hurt having been there and done that. At the moment am at a place where i know what i want but i cant muster the courage to say it to you. I know you read this blog and i just want you know that am thinking of running away. Maybe its cowardly to you but to me this is the best course of action i can think of now seeing that i need to find the courage to say it or quell what i feel for you. I need to learn how to resist you and to say no every so often. My running does not mean that i like you any lesser just that i need space to sort this jumbled up mess that is my feelings for you.
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17 comments:

  1. petesmama21 July 2008 at 16:18

    There is a fear of being alone. And a fear of being with someone. One of them has to win in the end.

    I hope whoever is supposed to read this understands it the way you want them to.

    PS: Snakes crawling up the drain and biting you??? For real?

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  2. pink m21 July 2008 at 16:40

    I pray that one day you can get over your fears, or at least those relating to relationships. Hope your loved one also understands, because often it's not easy to understand another one's fears.

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  3. Anonymous21 July 2008 at 18:45

    I so feel you.


    strawberries.

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  4. threetypesofcrazy21 July 2008 at 20:33

    I am normal, I am normal (do you see me dancing!)- your first three ooohhhhhhhhh are so uo there on my list. haya, I thought I was the only one who imagined snakes coming up the drain pipe or toilet.

    I hope the message in a post gets there- in the way it should.

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  5. threetypesofcrazy22 July 2008 at 00:29

    uo=up (pole, english- big problems!)

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  6. Stunner22 July 2008 at 05:59

    Healthy fear keeps us in check at times, however fear can also limit us and rob us of endless possibilities. It's ok to run for a while, but one day we have to face our fears if we are to truly overcome them.

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  7. Guessaurus22 July 2008 at 08:13

    Hi Gish,

    Snakes, in all their manifestations, are scary to me. Fear is healthy up to a point, and I too I am learning to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy fear.

    Hope the message gets received loud and clear too.

    {{{{{{{G}}}}}

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  8. 3133722 July 2008 at 12:32

    fear is a path to the dark side.

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  9. buttercookie22 July 2008 at 16:19

    Gish, u're not a committment phobe...it just hasn't hit u yet!!! When it does, believe me... u wont "FEAR" anymore.

    -Miss Cheri

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  10. Nakeel22 July 2008 at 17:04

    Snakes will make me migrate from a place for months or years.

    I hope he has received the message. (((((G)))))

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  11. savvy24 July 2008 at 12:34

    i fear snakes, rats, frogs, and chameloens make me freeze in motion, their evil eyes following you..their long tongues.. also lizards...

    but we all learn to overcome our fears one time or another...commitment will not be an issue when u meet someone right..

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  12. Queen of My Castle24 July 2008 at 21:56

    Words can't convey how much I feel you when it comes to having to choose between fight or flight when it comes to relationship and emotions...or lack thereof. You'll be fine :-)

    -Q

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  13. gishungwa25 July 2008 at 10:32

    Boy am i glad to know that am not alone *sighs*. Am working on countering some of those as well as curbing my imagination! great to "see" you all here.

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  14. boyf.25 July 2008 at 20:10

    cheer up gal!

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  15. val29 July 2008 at 16:18

    Gish you really wouldn't want to visit my home then...at some point guys had KWS on speed dial..(err coz of the snakes)

    I hope he reads this...coz its hard to open up again after been hurt..and its never easy admitting it..especially to the person in question

    I fear chameleons..**shudders**

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  16. Mighty Afroditee30 July 2008 at 20:54

    That's a lot of fears, Gish, and the irony is, I share most of them!Grr!!

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  17. Disco Muthenya5 August 2008 at 11:48

    while i feel you on most if not all your fears,ive been in the same situation for oh...the years have flown by...at first i was afraid i wasnt ready to come clean, then i wasnt good enough-had to fight my demons,i worried that we might try and fail then id loose even the friendship i truly values,then i found out he likes a mutual friend.it was a relief to hear my heart break that day.i didnt know i was holding my breath all those years until i let it out that day.im still not over him completely but im over him enough to give someone else a chance.is that the solution, NO! but its a start. good luck with that.

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