27 October 2006

Guilty


Nyabos and Ssebos (Ladies and Gentlemen) of the jury. The defendant Gish and other persons not before the court have pleaded guilty of having extreme fun last week Thursday till Tuesday this week. The scene of the crime is Pearl beach gardens, Ssese Islands, Lake Victoria, Uganda, see http://www.pearlgardensbeach.com. Gish is guilty of the following among other crimes in no specific order:-
 Being drunk in the bus on triple distilled blue moon Vodka, so that I have no recollection of the journey between Nakuru and the outskirts of Kampala
 Hangover and feeling like death thereafter paying 200 Ushs to puke in a loo got better after katoko (a million bananas and two pieces of meat) and plenty of water.
 Loitering aimlessly in Shop Rite in Kampala looking for something to kill the hangover then being unable to tell how much I owe them. Aside: a roll of tissue was ushs.950, water 1.5 liters was 650, 100gms (couldn’t buy individual pieces) of gum was Ushs.2600 and others.
 Sleeping in the taxi as they call matatus all the way to Entebbe.
 Getting into someone’s house and eating katoko for a fee of 1000ushs.
 Heckling, being restless, brew sampling and after a while settling for Nile Special beer all there in the ferry.
 Choosing to sleep alone with intentions, no it didn’t happen.
 Going for a walk on the beach and watching the sunset over Lake Victoria.
 Dancing and singing around the bonfire every night.
 Inciting and participating in Skinny Dippers Anonymous, blame it on the alcohol read as waragi, vodka among others
 Participating in the local councils clean up exercise whilst under influence, walking in the rain and being the official supplier of prophylactics.
 Being buried in the sand alive and E, I owe you one for giving me a d*k. explains the sand in my hair.
 Wearing scandalous clothes, aiding and abetting truth or dare contest, strip poker and “I have never…”
 Realization that am not all that insane after all.
 Lovely pleasure of being hosted by two wonderful men who spoilt us and showed us around and made them breakfast.
 Went to Good Fellas bar, the Tavern, wandegeya, ate Porko(read pork), rolex(sorta burrito like thingy)
 Went to Angenoir after a death ride from some guy who wanted to show off his Jeep to the girls
 I learnt what it means to say” thambiria gathugumi”
 At mid-night on Sunday, had my bathday with assorted fluids then proceeding to the ladies to dry using the hand drier.
 Harboring homicidal thoughts coz of the stupid DJ who kept on singing along.
 Making out in the bus, excuse, we were in the damn bus for 19 hours due to an accident, yeah we hit a drunk guy on a bike.
 Peeing in the bush due to excess fluid consumption.
 Making friends.
 Dancing till I couldn’t dance anymore.
? Boat riding with unknown fishermen on patrol.

Dear Jury, both sides recommend that she be sent back to the scene of the crime to think about her crime. What say you?

20 comments:

  1. After that post, the statement 'a picture is worth a thousand words' no longer makes sense. You had one heck of a weekend, girl. CRAZY!!!
    I'm not sure whether the guilty verdict will change the outcome, if that is what it's meant to do...

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  2. lol lol lol at rolex!! hihi!! too funny! that just made my day! whoa!!! great weekend...u need to take me on one of those!!

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  3. tehehehe, si I'm jealous mimi, glad you had fun in 'kamparra' tehe...tell me...what does "guthambia kathugumi' means becasue me, in my head, (yes, gutterised and all), that don't sound right!!! It just dont!!!

    How can you have so much fun? How? How? **stomps foot**

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  4. Yaani ok wait first belated birthday. Two jealous is not enough and am x40 it. That was lots of blasting fun next time I can fit in your little bag..

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  5. The jury says Amen and encore!!

    lovely weekend gish.

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  6. Happy belated birthday! Ssese Islands? Hmm... I have a friend who was there this weekend too! Eh, I'll try and see if I can guess who you are from the pics she'll be sending me :)

    N'ways, good for you!

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  7. Cheers, had no ideas UG was this much fun. I want to visit there and try water rafting next year.

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  8. @mwasjd
    i tried to remember as much as i could.Tru dat really great weekend, the guilty verdict is meant to send me back or at least an excuse to.
    @Kips
    When are you coming we wil plan a mad trip and yes its called Rolek read as rorex.
    @KM
    Kamum dont jamu will take you onthe next one that i am going for in Feb Maajaliwa.Guthambia gathugumi is having sex. Champala was all that and some.
    @Aunty Richi
    thanks and you can come too
    @prousette
    thanks worthy juror.
    @egm
    waasp hit me up and lets seee who we know in common LOL. Thanks

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  9. @Banks
    You have no idea. he water rafting is worth it the nile, the adrenalin is ahhh tooo good.

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  10. WanjaKihii the tomboy27 October 2006 at 18:00

    Ngai Mwathani Gichungwa....then again thats the true meaning of "Clandeh" ....Na president alisema tujienjoy!
    Asante kwa kupromote East Africa unity......Hehehehheheheheh

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  11. man talk about JEALOUS...glad you had fun and and and can i come next time...

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  12. No No, You are Innocent & have been condemned (as punishment) to stay in Nai alteast Til DEC.

    Thanks 4 enlightening us about the 'kathugumi'.... but why the 'ka'? can the same same phrase be used for not size challenged 'thugumi's?

    Enjoy ur weekend.

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  13. The jury says "yes, you should return to the crime scene and demonstrate exactly how you committed those crimes". At least someone's having a vacation somewhere!

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  14. Obviously, you have demonstrated no remorse for your actions (including the bush peeing!!), therefore your sentence is to repeat said nefarious actions, until you have seen the error of your ways!

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  15. Aaaah. Champala City. I need to get back there and soon. Alert me in Feb.

    And Gich! You have given us a censored version. One tweetie bird gave all the LDD secrets. Yumm yum.

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  16. Guilty as hell. Was in KLA this past weekend but for eerrr business. But seeing the crimes possibly commitable, i will be back.

    Haki Gish, ati you made out because you were in the bus for 19hrs. Haki haki.

    Me i Love Kampala Regardless. Regardless meaning those building that look like they are in Embu.

    Now me i want to go to Zanzibar for christmas, si you tell me how that thing works. Aki. Please.

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  17. @Wanja kihii
    Clearly pamoja we will LOL EA tourism and yeah truly clandeh
    @Quint
    yes you can my dear will post next time am going out of town
    @Bigsisbones
    If only i had a few days off and some money to go with that i would be glad to cary out the judgement
    @Afroditee
    bush peeing- iwas pressed, explains why the smoke was following me LOL
    @Ichiena
    A womans gotta have some secrets
    @Shiroh
    I didnt make for 19 hours at least not all 19 part of it,
    Zanzibar is great willsource and hola
    Thanks y'all for passing by

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  18. Dang! Seems someone had the time of her life!

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  19. Looks like you had fun! About waragi and skinny dipping...i can't even jot down what i did some time back when i first drank that devil's liquid *shakes head*.

    Happy birthday!! abit late though:-)

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  20. Somehow I think your activities down there will not do you any favours should you decide to run for public office!

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