Mr. Right

At the risk of sounding like I never know the reason for anything in my life. I must first say that am still as joyful to the extent where am humming to myself, find myself dancing even at the bustop. I will let you all know how the joy cometh forth as soon as I find out.
Yesterday, I learnt something that I guess I have known but been denying for a long time. I am actually not pissed in fact all the more joy and bliss continues. I think must be the realization that it won’t work, see the truth is am commitment phobic. How do I know that? Every time am in a really good relationship and all is well, suddenly it is like the unspoken command to self-destruct. I will normally do everything I can to sabotage I t.
Then I got to thinking, (must be the bio-clock been ticking again) they say that there is a person especially for everyone. That destiny/fate/cupid/God or whatever it is that you believe in has a person just for you. A partner, one who is supposed to be like the other missing half piece of the jigsaw puzzle? Dreamily, one who will accept you just as you are (scary thought) since we at times don’t know who we are.
The “perfect” partner for you or me. One who makes you laugh when low/blue/sad, one who knows exactly what to say, how to say is and when to say it. The one who loves you just as you are. The one who sparks fire in you. One who awakes both your brains and your loins. The one who makes your toes curl (don’t ask wont tell). You know, the one whose perks and smirks are just right. The person of your dreams (no wonder you never meet them)
Then again, am the realistic type hardly believe in romance and love, prefer tulips to red roses any day. Despite that I have loved truly once when I was younger. Now I think that my ideologies, beliefs and the mother of them all experience get in the way of cupid’s arrow. I cant say that I have been around long enough o prove the theory right or wrong. All I know about men from my experience and that of others (read gal talk) is that some are worth it and others aren’t (another blog, another day).
They say that you have to kiss a few frogs before you reach prince charming (the gals that is the men don’t know yet). Now I wonder how few is few and why cant I just get straight on with the so called prince charming you know cut the suspense and drama.
I have had my fair share of men each one of them has taught me something and helped me to discover something about myself that I didn’t know before. For that and other reasons best not told here (hey a gal must have a secret), no hard feelings.
I have learnt among others though that: -
God and my parents are the only people I can truly depend on.
I love me too much and enjoy my own company
I don’t need a man to define who iam I do that pretty well by myself.
I know what I want, how to get me so watch me get it
I am beautiful, intelligent, mumeru woman with all the curves in check with a lot to offer and any man is lucky to have my company.
Like wine am getting better with age.
I know when to stay and fight and when to walk away.
Still I cant wait to see what cupid / God has in store for me *ROFLOL* u know the man
I get to grow old with.
Patience is not my greatest virtus so till then I shall be at the pond…