Happy Holidays!!!

Of Leave and Want to Party

Am still trying to recover from leave, me thinks i need leave to recover from leave. Initially i was going to Dar on a "mission" (Shiroh shush) but due to unforeseen circunmstances(phew! finally got to use that )plans changed. So left with 10 days to idle i had to be creative. One thing is for sure am thankful for my job. Ok bumming is cool but not for long so i decided to emigrate to my folks where i found my mother a tad too willing to host. Now she truly implemented "Mgeni kumpokea kumbe ni kujitongea", (My apologies to all who didnt read Kiswahili kitukuzwe), being that my folks are moving houses to their final house, fondly named "retirement house or till-death-do-us-part". For the aforemenitoned reason it was only befitting that i do my share of the job considering i wil be away as they pack and haul. Then the call on Friday to report to the office on Sartuday luckily just in time for the end of year party.
Monday morning, woke up all psyched ready to get back to work only to be drained and good to go home at 9:30am. That was after receiveing countless emails to respond to seems like all they did while iwas away was write mails back and forth and hold meetings so there goes all hopes of slowly sinking back in more like jumping into the deep end. Finally the day ended phew!
Today: I spit at these bouts of insmonia where i sleep well, only promptly at 2:35am am wake till some minutes to 4am. Now my mum told me that if you wake up in the middle of the night, pray because someone must be in need of prayer. Lawd knows i have prayed, query, kwani how many people need prayers now that it has been happening every night am its a vigil for the upcoming elections. When i finally nodded off woke up at 6:44am but by grace got to work on time. Thanks y'all who wished me happy leave. Am still trying to catch up with blogsphere.
A Meet-up (Yaay!) is brewing at Aegeus, ideally we should propose a date and place, so mine is this sartuday the 23rd, crime scene , where it all began:-buffet park at 3pm. As has been this is open to all bloggers, lurkers and all imaginary friends. If you have any suggestions you know you can either mail, im ,sms or call me. Unlike the TZ Meetup where there was an agenda this one is just chilling, catching up and enjoying the good company. Farmgal, i know we are on ama? Anyone else, Auntie Richi you know the twins deserve a proper send off ;)Till then...

Away!!!

Last time ...
http://www.rotaractmilimani.org/ssese2/gallery.swf
http://www.rotaractmilimani.org/ssese/gallery.swf
So finally Lady Luck is a behaving like a lady or the planets are aligned or God has heard my silent cry for freedom. Being a swivel-servant, its moments like this i truly long for, yes, am going on leave starting tommorow for 10 days. I had made travel plans but they have been deferred so am sad and all but what the heck. Been moaning and growling about the whole thing then i realize that the people i love to hang out with are on leave also during this jolly period, coincidinky! The itinerary is bum, movies, bum, sleep, visit,bum and bum.Till then my good people

The Stirring: Hush

STOP yes you stop, stop everything just stop. Be still,hush. Last night as it was raining cats and dogs i stopped. In the last waking moments before i drifted off to sleep, i decided to do something that i read about. So i lay on my back completely stretched out and did it :- " Exhale all the breath while gently pulling in the abdomen.Begin inhaling while puffing out the abdomen.Gently bring the breath upwards, allowing the rib cage to move up,then continue bringing the breath up, thus expanding the chest.Slowly begin to exhale the breath reversing this process, exhaling from the chest, allowing the rib cage to go down and then the abdomen to gently go down.Feel the breath go in and out of your body.Dont worry if your thoughts drift just breathe"
In the stillness of the night:-
You get to hear sounds that normally you dont hear or you are too busy to hear.
I could hear my thoughts drifting in and out.
I felt so much at peace
I realized how blessed am.
On this wonderful thanksgiving thursday, take a minute heck take five tonight, before you sleep and just be still thinking about everything and nothing then breathe,then tell me how it feels you know i will be doing it myself.
Happy thanksgiving to you all.
God bless you all.

Stepping Over Into the Abyss

I live for the stillness
that rests between the words
the distant spaces of thought
suspended by silken threads of light.

The web of life capturing my attention
sticking to the soles of my feet
which are rooted in sensual knowing.

Deeply alive and fearless
of the stretched lines
crisscrossing into nothingness.

I step over into the abyss
of silence and no words
no thoughts
no voice to be heard.

Darkness and light
become the illusion
for in this place there exists
nothing and yet all.

The universe is empty
without anything
moving through it.

I am the I AM

(from http://www.sanctuaryofstillness.org)

The Stirring : Change

Why does change take so long?. You know undoing a wrong habit. They say that it takes 21 days to form a habit. I keep feeling that all round am taking 3 steps forward and 15 backwords. Seems like i just cant hold on till the 21st day like onthe 18th day i have to start all over again. I have realized that change results from hardwork, focus and discipline.
Enter my new theme song: One day at a time. Looking carefully at myself then i know there is alot to be done and its easier to start today.Part of the changes is in changing the ideologies that i grew up with.
I love God and all that pertains to him. I thoroughly enjoy being part of a church. Iam one of those who grew up in church literally am as presbyterian as they come. My folks were elders and held positions in church, attended every step of church from baptism to sunday school to brigades(high school) to youth then dropped out. Though most things i learnt then still hold true i must admit that some things i have to rid myself like ideologies about other religions like christianity being a superior religion. I have learnt to live with other people and objectively discussing our beliefs in whatever they regard and deity. That doesnt mean that i agree with them but that we agree to disagree. I have also found a church where i feel at home and where my needs are catered for. I have noted with concern that there are times in my life that i have felt truly connected to God and totally nsync. Then the moments when i feel like He has turned his back on me. Have you ever tried to pray and you feel like your prayer is just rehearsed poetry. You know you were taught to start with gratitude, repetance, supplction, ask him that his will prevails and statement of faith right? Am tired and i know that there must be another way to do this. A while back i heard the stor of the person who wrote a prayer and stuck it on the wall and everynight they would say outoud before snoozing, Lord there and point to the prayer.I am not any different. So i have gone back to writing my prayers in my journal since then i have noted that am more honest and straight up.
Never thought my life had so many departments so this is the beggining. I figure if i sort it out with God the rest will be easier to handle.
This is so appropriate: Ressurection By Nicole Smith Sponberg
I am at a loss for words
There's nothing to say
I sit in silence wondering what led me to this place
How did my heart become so lifeless and so cold
Where did that passion go?

When all my efforts seem like changing the wind
Ive used up all my strength and theres nothing left I can give
I've lost the feeling, and I'm numb to the core
Can't fake it anymore

Chorus:
Here I am, at the end
I'm in need of resurrection
Only you can take this empty shell
And raise it from the dead
What I've lost to the world
What seems far beyond redemption
You can take the pieces in your hand
And make me whole again

You speak and all creation falls to its knees
you raise your hand and calm the waves of the raging seas
you have a way of turning winter into spring
make something beautiful out of all this suffering

Chorus

Do-it-all and Expiry Dates

What is wrong with us? I mean all of us Kenyans you know the political analysts without portfolio. Allow me to give an example; If the any head of an organization learnt that a particular department were not performing as expected what do you think he/she would do? Ideally he will call the manager who will be asked to explain what is going on and then sort out the mess right. Maybe you see where am going with all these?
So how come we (me included) expect the president to do everything from floods to clashes to weddings and all. Does the president have to attend to everything? If so then why do we need the cabinet? If he has to do everything then it kills the purpose of having a cabinet. I thought that good leadership involves letting people work out their roles and only stepping in where necessary to offer guidance or reproach where needed right??
I do acknowledge and realize that not all of them are doing their jobs so what is the next step? See where most of us work we have performance contracts; the deal is real simple you either perform or see the door. Is it possible to stipulate a performance contract for both the MP aka posers and also for the cabinet? The painful part is that I work my butt off, pay more taxes more than tithe and have nothing to show for is.
Everything has an expiry date right surprisingly even water yeah that too. I think time has come for us to have a fixed term for MPs and yours truly the president. Am concerned that most of our leaders seem to have a till-death-do-us-part attitude towards their political term. Is this the way forward ?
“On the contrary, if people (the voters) are empowered with civil education and thorough democratic policies are followed; MP's are easily limited by the power of the Voter. We still vote with our stomachs full on the voting day, and survive through hardships for the next five years of MP's terms. We cannot expect drastic development if we continue recycling players in the political field. We need to open up the field to new players with fresh ideas. Recycling of old players and old ideas has lead to the stagnated development. We now want creative minds and risk takers who will challenge the status quo. It is time for the youth to stand up for themselves and boldly demand for change. We need change in mindset; change in ideology and above all a change in guard. If we continue doing what we have always done, in the same manner that we have always done it, how can we expect different results? Development of a country does not just happen; it needs effort to be realized. It also requires commitment and above all a deep rooted passion for change.”

What is your $.02 ?

Premiere

Am one to constantly look at myself in third person in a quest to be a better person. Therefore "The Stirring". This will be a weekly post done on thursdays about the areas that am working on and any other issues that am tackling. Why the stirring you ask, because its a arousing of actions that will result to a change. Just like the way you stir the porridge so it doesn't form lumps, so are the actions repetitive till we are done. Musta been what the teacher always said was it practice practive makes perfect or was it perfect practice makes perfect.
I am not Catholic used to be though back in high school so that i could go out every sunday. Actually i even danced in church you know in the procession yes i done it.Dont be looking at me like that everyone i know all grew in church. You know the sunday drill get up, shower, breakfast, wear your sunday dress gentlemen insert Kaunda suits here and ladies the frilly layered dresses et al to match, sunday school. They say its easier to talk to a stranger right so i followed my sister-friend and partner in crime to talk to a priest or spiritual guide to be politically correct. So i will try and share what am learning in these sessions with you and any other lessons learnt elsewhere. Why a priest, i have no idea i figure he will remain impartial and has heard worse than i have to tell.
AOB
what is life without a sense of humor.Please check out http://www.mchongoano.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1376

Ah! Men

12 Types of men

1. MR. THUG LIFE
Advantages
a. Real good at making love
b. Fun and exciting
c. Makes you laugh
d. Has your back, will fight and protect you
e. Stands for what he believes in
Disadvantages
a. Usually drinks and smokes too much
b. Always got drama
c. Stays a thug forever
d. In and out of jail

2. MR. NAW, I DON'T HAVE A GIRL
Advantages
a. Will take you out in the beginning
b. Will introduce you to all his friends
c. Compliments you all the time
Disadvantages
a. Has a girlfriend who he's been with since the 2nd grade
b. Will not get rid of her
c. He tells you about her after you've fallen in love with his *bleep*

3. MR. BIG BALLA
Advantages
a. Will give you money with no questions asked
b. Has alot of style to him
c. Will show you some of the nice things in life
Disadvantages
a. Never returns your pages
b. Feels he can come to your house at any given time without calling first
c. Loves to be around his boys more than you.

4. MR. IM IN THE INDUSTRY
Advantages
a. Can get you and your friends on the guest list at all the jumpin parties
b. Can have a decent stimulating conversation
c. Tends to dress nice
Disadvantages
a. You don't know if he's gay, straight or bi
b. Seems flighty when you speak of a solid commitment
c. You still have to wait in line to get in all the jumpin' parties,
then there's drama at the door
d. All he has is a bunch of pictures with celebrities but he doesn't
know any of them personally

5. MR. INTELLECTUAL
Advantages
a. Book smart
b. Cares about how you feel
c. Has a very good job
Disadvantages
a. Boring as hell
b. Doesn't know what the hell he's doing in bed
c. He is not street smart
d. Always asking you when he can see you again

6. MR. GHETTO
Advantages
a. THE BOMB IN BED!!!!!
b. Makes you laugh
c. Got mad style and flava
d. Has a temper, but generally a charming sweet guy
e. Says he want a real relationship
Disadvantages
a. He got 3 or more baby mommies
b. Wants to lay up in your crib, use the phone, and eat up all the food
c. Is in denial when you tell him about himself
d. Comes home at 3:00 am and says he was out with his boys

7. MR. IM A RIGHTEOUS BLACK MAN
Advantages
a. Will teach you about black history
b. Revolutionary
c. Inspiring & gives to you spiritually & emotionally
d. Wants a wife and family
Disadvantages
a. Breaks up with you for a white girl
b. Mo money-doesn't have a job
c. Doesn't own a nice suit, always wearing camouflage and oils
d. In the end, you find out he is just a trifling, con motha*bleep*a
Chris!

8. MR. TOO DAMN GOOD
Advantages
a. Will introduce you to his mother
b. Has a job and will take you out
c. Will give you money for your bills if you need it
d. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
Disadvantages
a. Sometimes he goes to church on Sunday
b. Secretly wants to be Mr. Thug Life
c. Wears fake Movado & Rolex watches when he goes to the club
d. Ignores you when the game is on because he takes sports too
serious -He didn't make it professionally
e. You find out after you break up with him that he was cheating on you

9. MR. PLAYA
Advantages
a. Will tell you the truth - that you're not the only one
b. Sometimes hes fairly decent in bed
c. He tells you that you've changed him and he's ready to settle down
d. Has his own apartment and car (invites you to move in with him)
Disadvantages
a. He doesn't acknowledge you in public, especially if there's a women around
b. Generally he is a punk (won't stand up for anything)
c. He expects you to believe all his lies just because he told you the
truth about other women
d. After you catch his lying *bleep*, he tells you that he told
you that he was a playa in the beginning anyway

10. MR. I HAVE A JOB
Advantages
a. Of course.... he has a job
b. Doesnt have too many bad habits
c. Will take care of you when youre sick
d. Tells you that he is in love with you
Disadvantages
a. You stay in the relationship 2 years or more and then find out
he's a shiftless, lazy son-of-a-*bleep* who wants you to do
all the wifely duties but wont give you a ring
b. He ends up telling you that he loves you, but is not "in love" with you
c. After he leaves you he gets married a month later

11. MR. BEST FRIEND
Advantages
a. He's your best friend, you tell each other everything; you
get along very, very well
b. He gives you advice when you and your man are having problems
c. The ultimate gentleman
d. Sweet and caring with a good sense of humor
Disadvantages
a. You end up hooking up with him only to find he ain't about *bleep* either!
b. Now, you gotta find a new best friend because you can't stand
his *bleep* no more

Drum roll...

******** 12. MR. RIGHT**********
Advantages
a..He loves God and takes his relationship with God seriously
b. He is intellectual, brilliant, and capable of taking you
there mentally and emotionally
c. He will love you even when you are not lovable
d. He has a career and not a job!
e. He acknowledges his faults and strives to be a better man
f. He understands a relationship is built on a 200%
quota - 100% him and 100% you
g. He doesn't have a bunch of kids and babies mommas - he's smarter than that
h. He is a true best friend and everything you ever wanted in a man
i. He was cute when you met him. But, after spending sometime
you see he's fine as hell! YAY YAY
j. He can dress - knows the difference b/t formal, semi-formal,
professional, business casual, casual, and since we are just
chilling let me throw on some sweats and a fitted hat
h. He loves his mother and respects women
Disadvantages
a. You've never met him and if you did he already has a girl/wife
b. Resides in your dreams.

They all sound a tad bit too farmiliar for my comfort, then again what do i know am a certified commitment phobe LOL. Seriously now which are you( if male) and which one do you want (if female)?

The Walking Race aka Marathon

Due many many reasons i will not post personal pics just group pics. HOla for personal pics LOL else enjoy

Sighs

Kenyan food * now am hungry *

Nairobi in the Morning


Aside: Pics of the Stanchart marathon coming up

Guilty

Nyabos and Ssebos (Ladies and Gentlemen) of the jury. The defendant Gish and other persons not before the court have pleaded guilty of having extreme fun last week Thursday till Tuesday this week. The scene of the crime is Pearl beach gardens, Ssese Islands, Lake Victoria, Uganda, see http://www.pearlgardensbeach.com. Gish is guilty of the following among other crimes in no specific order:-
 Being drunk in the bus on triple distilled blue moon Vodka, so that I have no recollection of the journey between Nakuru and the outskirts of Kampala
 Hangover and feeling like death thereafter paying 200 Ushs to puke in a loo got better after katoko (a million bananas and two pieces of meat) and plenty of water.
 Loitering aimlessly in Shop Rite in Kampala looking for something to kill the hangover then being unable to tell how much I owe them. Aside: a roll of tissue was ushs.950, water 1.5 liters was 650, 100gms (couldn’t buy individual pieces) of gum was Ushs.2600 and others.
 Sleeping in the taxi as they call matatus all the way to Entebbe.
 Getting into someone’s house and eating katoko for a fee of 1000ushs.
 Heckling, being restless, brew sampling and after a while settling for Nile Special beer all there in the ferry.
 Choosing to sleep alone with intentions, no it didn’t happen.
 Going for a walk on the beach and watching the sunset over Lake Victoria.
 Dancing and singing around the bonfire every night.
 Inciting and participating in Skinny Dippers Anonymous, blame it on the alcohol read as waragi, vodka among others
 Participating in the local councils clean up exercise whilst under influence, walking in the rain and being the official supplier of prophylactics.
 Being buried in the sand alive and E, I owe you one for giving me a d*k. explains the sand in my hair.
 Wearing scandalous clothes, aiding and abetting truth or dare contest, strip poker and “I have never…”
 Realization that am not all that insane after all.
 Lovely pleasure of being hosted by two wonderful men who spoilt us and showed us around and made them breakfast.
 Went to Good Fellas bar, the Tavern, wandegeya, ate Porko(read pork), rolex(sorta burrito like thingy)
 Went to Angenoir after a death ride from some guy who wanted to show off his Jeep to the girls
 I learnt what it means to say” thambiria gathugumi”
 At mid-night on Sunday, had my bathday with assorted fluids then proceeding to the ladies to dry using the hand drier.
 Harboring homicidal thoughts coz of the stupid DJ who kept on singing along.
 Making out in the bus, excuse, we were in the damn bus for 19 hours due to an accident, yeah we hit a drunk guy on a bike.
 Peeing in the bush due to excess fluid consumption.
 Making friends.
 Dancing till I couldn’t dance anymore.
? Boat riding with unknown fishermen on patrol.

Dear Jury, both sides recommend that she be sent back to the scene of the crime to think about her crime. What say you?

This weekend....

Whaat?

Okk. Maybe am *insert appropriate word here* but help me comprehend what response does one expects when you do either of the following???

Action:
Am walking towards you or have already gone past you and the best thing you can do to get my attention is "Psssst", "Madam unakaa poa( madam you looking good)", "Whistle, make the kissing sound" or any other "bright" idea that comes into your head you nutter!
My Reaction:
I wonder if your head is screwed on right, even better am i supposed to do catwheels and trip falling over myself just because you noticed me ahhhhh... That would explain my clueless face and if you are really lucky *rolling eyes +shaking head*. oh by the way Do i look concerned just because you are fly, think you are, your mother said you are or any other dumb thing you may have heard. Oh that goes for you too Mr.I-have-money+Big-flashy-car! Whatever happened to Hi my name is X.

Action:
So i agreed to come on a date with you once or twice heck x times where for x=infinity. You have always said and treated me as a friend then your friends come trotting and you introduce me gayly(no pun intended)as your "mama".Mama here being your new catch.Did i miss the writing in the sky?
My reaction:
Hi am Gish and no am not his mama. no debate and no smiles and yes twas nice knowing you.

Action:
When you offer to "take care of me", by putting a standing order for a few staggering Kshs to my account....
My reaction:
Are you drunk or just plain stupid. First i hate men who think that just coz they have few shillings to offer they can get anyone they want so from this Gish you can stuff it up u know where. FYI, i take care of my self and i need taking care of i would call my daddy, yeah bite me.

Action:
Location anywhere, you tap my ass....
My reaction:
I think you dont need your front teeth. I can guarantee you a slap that is without doubt, see that provokes my instant anger, just add water and stir. I cant fight but will see to it that one of us leave.

Wuuuussaaaah!

In a different light

Got this link from Akiey. Let me know what you think of it
http://allafrica.com/stories/200610100537.html

AFLEWO, Pink Ribbon

Mostly out of curiosity, last Friday evening found Gish on a long queue at Kencom waiting to board a bus to NPC Karen. Time check 8pm yeah or a function that was meant to start at 9pm yap that’s Gish for you and countless others. I was going for AFLEWO which is Africa Lets Worship. I must admit though that this was based mainly on curiosity than anything else. Since she doth enjoy a night out as much as the next person she decided to go for an all night service so as to draw the difference between both sides i.e. the light and the dark. Question, whatever happened to courtesy, mean we are all queuing to go to CHURCH, shouldn’t you feel guilty or pretend to be for jumping the queue and then bringing a whole crowd with you. Being a churchly atmosphere, she bites her tongue, mental reminder to say a prayer for them… ahem. After what seemed like forever, here comes the bus and she sits next to the driver, hoping to get there ahead of all the others. Whilst in the bus it seemed that the driver had every intention of getting us across the bridge rather than the church. This did in fact spark a conversation between yours truly and her seatmate about the drive, the joys of Christianity among others.
So she gets to the venue, its packed to the brim so she saunters in the aisle in search of seating space and finally manages to wriggle in. The evening was beyond my expectations, the music was ubber heavenly, and the people were just the ones, the lighting and atmosphere electric. Then came the time to pray for all nations, the flags were there to symbolize such. The leader lead “Nkosi sikeleli africa” with the words projected for those who didn’t know the song, now that had me teary eyed as they sang it in Swahili then my countries anthem, now tears were falling down my cheeks. I sort of felt what athletes feel on the podium whilst their motherlands anthem is played. As we sang I thought of what a privilege it is to be Kenyan. Even Mutua’s “Najivunia kuwa mkenya” wouldn’t suffice. See the thing about this pride is not in the riches and accomplishments but in the small things that we take for granted. I thought of the peace, the love for another despite our differences, the freedom to worship whatever it is that you think is deity, the freedom to criticize, the beauty and wealth of this country, small liberties that mean the world to other countries. The pastors went ahead to name and pray for all the countries from Cairo to Cape Town. I ever have been so proud to be Kenyan as I was then still is. We were there till 6am, and then went home to shower and change ready for work next day. I must admit that my feet hurt since I was standing most of the night but the feeling inside was worth every single bit. see http://www.aflewo.com
Last week I did a post about Free Breast Cancer Clinic sponsored by Safaricom, so I trudged there on Saturday, got myself tweaked and pronounced of good health. It was quite funny though not in a ha ha way. I would reccomend that you do get checked, it is very crucial for all both male anf female to have this done.
I am reading Donahue my own story by Phil Donahue & Co, very interesting.
Good Week to all.

Breasts Galore

October being breast cancer month,FYI
There will be a free breast clinic, sponsored by Safaricom,
that is taking place at KICC from today (28/9/2006) till Saturday
30/9/2006) from 9.00am to 5.00pm.

I have to say whats with men and breasts, below are some of the names that they are called:-
 bazookas (plural, slang, large breasts)
 bazoomies (plural, slang, large breasts)
 bee bite (slang, small breasts)
 beer glass (plural, slang, large breast, from the set of champagne, wine, and beer glasses)
 berthas (plural, slang, large breasts, from large German artillery gun in WWI)
 big berthas (plural, slang, large breasts, from large German artillery gun in WWI)
 big McDuffs (plural, slang, large breasts)
 blouse bunnies (plural, slang)
 boob (slang)
 boobie (slang)
 bosom (plural)
 boulders (plural, slang, derived from “over the shoulder boulder holder” for “bra”)
 brace and bits (plural, slang)
 breast (anatomy)
 bristols (British slang, one source claims from British WWI fighter aircraft called the Bristol Fighter, contracted to “Brisfit”, which rhymed with tit, while another source claims from the Bristol City soccer team)
 bubbies (plural, slang)
 bubs (plural, slang)
 buds (plural, slang, small breasts)
 buffers (plural, slang)
 cantaloups (plural, slang)
 cantaloupes (plural, slang)
 champagne glass (plural, slang, small breast, from the set of champagne, wine, and beer glasses)
 chi-chi (slang)
 chubbies (plural, slang, large breasts)
 coconuts (plural, slang, large breasts)
 Dolly Partons (plural, slang large breasts, from the country singer)
 double barrel (plural, slang)
 Double Lotus Peak (plural, Taoist spiritual)
 droppers (plural, slang, large breasts)
 dugs (plural, slang)
 dumplings (plural, British slang)
 fun cushions (plural, slang)
 globes (plural, slang, large breasts)
 grapefruits (plural, slang, large breasts)
 headlights (plural, slang)
 hooters (plural, slang, large breasts)
 hummers (plural, slang)
 jugs (plural, slang, large breasts)
 knobs ((plural, slang)
 knockers (plural, slang, large breasts)
 light and bitter (plural, British slang, a joke about a barmaid having the two main types of English beer tattooed on her breasts)
 lungs (plural, slang)
 mammary (anatomy)
 melon (slang, large breast)
 milk wagons (plural, slang, large breasts)
 muffins (plural, slang, small breasts)
 norks (plural, slang)
 pair (plural, slang)
 puppies (plural, slang, large breasts)
 rack (slang)
 ski slopes (plural, slang)
 tabs (plural, slang, small breasts)
 ta tas (plural, slang)
 teat (the nipple, slang when applied to whole breast)
 thirty-eights (plural, slang, large breasts)
 thr’penny bits (plural, British slang)
 tit (slang)
 tittie (or titty)(slang)
 twin mounds (plural, slang)
 top bullocks (plural, slang)
 tweeters (plural, slang, small breasts)
 twin mounds (plural, slang)
 twin peaks (plural, slang)
 twins (plural, slang)
 udder (downward hanging bag of cow, female goat, or other milk producing animals, slang when applied to human breasts)
 voos (plural, slang)
 wine glass (plural, slang, medium-size breast, from the set of champagne, wine, and beer glasses)
 woofers (plural, slang, large breasts)

Jammed, love and LOL

So i was stuck in jam this morning not that its anything to write home about but this time i was devoid of my usual book that blinds me from all other ongoing activity.Public transport bah! you know,i am very picky when getting into matatus in the morning i simply cant stand the Boom Twaf, the loud music involved. What makes it worse is when they have those miniature video screens showing the video of the song in question. Then on one of those days, they have to show some sex laced video and i got to thinking isnt it a bit too early for sex video but then again what do i know right...My choice is normally with matatus playing slow music and no music ata all.
So i chose a rickety rickshaw but it was quiet and so i relaxed and was looking out of the window.Of course i was cursing the Jam notwithstanding that had i left earlier then i wouldnt have had to contend with all these. Being one of those mornings when as i wait for my heater to behave itself decided that the rug is dirty cleaned a bit then the floor then shucks its 6:30 and yes the water overheated. After that we are running all through. So there are these two street people who are sleeping next to some makeshift sheds under the open sky i got to thinking that i really should shut up about not having because they clearly stand for not having.
I often come across children being walked to school.You can clearly tell that they are not from well to do families but my heart is moved just by the folks who will get out of be prepare this darlings and get them upto the gate and stand there as they wave goodbye over and over again and keep turning to see if mummy or daddy is still there. You will oft see them waving and others even hug goodbye that for me is really cool. The other two things that remind me of love is babies and weddings... Now babies , i love especially when they are really tiny and grab your little finger that for me is really oooh. Weddings ahem now the couple is all lovey and all. Asid form allthe relatives who came via Meru Sacco Express, Riakanau express or some strange means with banana leaves stuck on. Is it just me that most couples seem to have their won stories as the reception goes and their own private jokes.After all is said and done i have come to the conclusion that these two(babies and weddings) are best when they belong to someone else.
Being a wednesday that started with dramatic meetings at work,my day has been made by one modoathii url http://madcouch.blogspot.com so modos i owe you one. Thank you.
Happy midweek Y'all

Challenges, Age and living in Nairobi

This week or at least whats left of it is Banned Books Week. I discovered that the most challenged books of the 21st Century (2000-2005) are:

1. Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

2. "The Chocolate War" by Robert Cormier

3. Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

4. "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck

5. "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou

6. "Fallen Angels" by Walter Dean Myers

7. "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie Harris

8. Scary Stories series by Alvin Schwartz

9. Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey

10. "Forever" by Judy Blume

For more information tembelea http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bannedbooksweek.htm

Of Age, happy birthday Mental, many happy returns to you

Got his forma friend, here goes:-

You know you're from Nairobi....
The person in front of you in traffic this morning was hijacked and you got irritated because you missed the green on the traffic light.
·You have a minimum of five worst matatu stories.
·While waiting at the ATM, the bank is robbed by armed gunmen, but you'll be damned if you're going to lose your place in the queue. ..
·You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
·The last time you drove your car without swearing at someone was when you took your driving test.
·It takes you an hour and a half to drive 5km to work in the morning and you think "wow, good traffic day."
·Every time you find your car parked where you left it you are genuinely surprised….
·You can get into a four-hour argument about the quickest way out of Nairobi after work on a Friday, but can't find South B on a map…
·You've seriously considered shooting someone…
·You at one point thought Buruu was a district on its own…
·The fake bouncer at your local pub calls you by your second name….
·You have more barbed wire around your home than Kamiti Prison.
·You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
·You consider a postage-stamp sized patch of grass a garden.
·You consider Thika the 'countryside'.
·You happily pay Kshs 120/= for a beer at K2, but think Kshs 25/= for a loaf of bread is a disgrace.
·You own a 4x4 or a serious car (on loan), still live in a rented house & u've never considered taking a house loan.
·You actually take fashion seriously…..
·You have 20 different menus in your house, all of which go with ugali.
·You consider going to coast & camping at Bob's as grand holiday
·You've forgotten that you lied to your loandlord twice that your auntie died hence the long wait in paying your rent.
·You'll always brag of knowing so & so who left the country for states and is far doing well.
·You've never considered being the beverage manager at a local hotel but wouldn't mind the same at Kenya Breweries Ltd.
·You greet the kiosk owner at home by his name at mid-month coz you are already begging for some vegetables.
·Even the police pause momentarily at a red light before driving on late at night, so as to avoid being victim of hijacking..
·Your mother in law is not in the least bit your best friend.
·You have atleast one relative who's a teacher.
·Your conversations always start with..... 'me I' blah blah blah.


Happy Tuesday to y'all.

Silence

Nairobi 8:43am
Its a cold chilly morning, seems like the sun and Mother nature are insync with the somber mood of the Day. Today we remember the founding father of this great motherland Kenya, Mzee Jomo Kenyatta. As is tradition there is a mass to be help then flowers to be laid at the newly done Mausoleum. Yeah newly refurbished, they have redone the walkway and pavement with cabro, repainted the two lions that stand growling at the entrance of the mausoleum, how do i know all this because i walk past there everyday. For those of us who were born after his reign, all we have to contend with is heroic stories and KBC's replays of his videos in black and white.
For most of us its just another day, but for his family his wife the Very first Lady Mama Ngina Kenyatta its a day when she remembers the loss the man who was her love, her husband, the father of her children and then thepresident of my country.
So today take second, heck take a minute and say a prayer for the family, thank God for this country and also for all who lost their loved ones, the very heroes of this nation both known and unknown.
so here is my moment of silence and prayer......

Haapy Birthday

(pic courtesy of http://amanda.dd.com.au/gallery/pics/sisters.jpg)
28 today huh!where did the years go to?
Just the other day we were sharing a room
giggling ourselves silly over one thing or the other!
For your love always and sisterhood,
For sharing your secrets with me,
For my three darling nephews who call me auntie,
For bringing home a good man,the love of your life
For making Ma and pops tutu and babu respectively,
For being such a sucess after they all gave up on you,
For having a home where we are always welcome,
For watching over Ma and pops like "Mother Hen"
for everything and more which words cannot say
You know we love you and pray for you si ndio!
Happy Bithday Love and pray for a life full of
God's Love, joy, grace and favor untold.
A very happy Birthday to You!

Before

I wonder what she would think of me now? My 5th Birthday.

Disappointed

How could you do that to me? Why?
Is it because I walked away?
Surely I can't be the first to have walked away from you.
Is it because I finally gathered the strength to shove back?
Is it because I lost the rose colored glasses and opened my eyes?
Is it because I accepted reality and chose to run while I was still ahead?
I loathe and despise you so much now
You played the saint, oh I know my bad, and I saw you as one
I treated you ass like loyalty and put you on a pedestal
I chose to focus on the good, damn the optimist in me
You never thought this would get to me now did you?
So it has and am truly disappointed in you
How low can you get or go,
Slandering and saying crap about me
Now I understand the looks on their faces,
So you think you are the hero huh, do you think so?
Actually they pity you the same ones you went to tattletale
They call me to ask if you are ok and apologize in embarrassment
Endless talks about God, you hypocrite, wine-drunk water-preacher
Who sat in the seat of judgement, shaking fists,meting out judgement
What goes around comes around, dawa yako iko jikoni inatokota
I should have listened to them when they warned me
Did I Nooo, I thought I knew better, they were just jealous, LOL
You told me they said and told them I said, and we all said
You divided us because you knew together we'd bust you
Guess what? We are back! Yes we bust your ass and we back
Yeah scary huh! We are back, hanging out like we used to
Only now we better than before, we free to be friends again
Part of me is sad though, not for you but for another
I wonder does she know, the woman you are marrying does she know
Does she know her man's a coward who can't face me and tell me the truth?
Does she know that the promises you make to her you make to others
Does she know the things you say behind her back?
Does she know that there is not only Mary but Dorcas and Susan too?
Does she know that you spoil her to make up for the guilt you harbor?
Does she realize that she will be stuck with your sorry ass forever?
Does she know that's why you wont marry her in church, coward?
Does she?
I guess not, unlike you I will let her learn on her own
Am thankful though that I got to walk away from you
Am thankful that this time I have learnt, next time I shall not repeat.
Am thankful that yes I did learn a lot from you
In light of this, you have lost my respect, and friendship
It is actually better this way, am hurt but at peace
Peace that i did my best but you,you failed
In the words of Eliza Tabor
“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal;
it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”

Take it Away

I dont remember doing it but now i have a set of wheels. I have googled myself senseless trying to find how i can regain my pedestrian status but all i seem to get are solutions that require me to be patient.FYI its freezing cold in nairobi what i would call winter, and the sun has decided to go on hiatus, now the idea of constantly leaving my desk where am trying to keep warm by streaming music from Kameme(kikuyu music) to capitalfm to live365.com is simply not acceptable. You must realize that it does take alot of energy to warm this chair and as most of you know its not easy being a swivel-servant. The endless trips to recharge at the water dispenser and then to discharge just doesn't augur well with my boss who thinks its a ploy to escape work and the phone thats ringing incessantly(why cant they all take a nap and call next month).
So i googled and 45 or so tabs later,they tell me that the set of wheels should be reclaimed by the giver in any period ranging from 4hours to 48hours. They say am to keep away from milk and dairy products( no loss there),coffee(will try no promises) drink chamomile tea(off to Nakumatt,herbal tea-C for chamomile uber Yuck)no fatty foods,bub-bye the anticipated dry fry(fried meat with just dhania,onions,no soup and ugali, no chips How Now(KM 2006)and alcohol for 2 days(easy peasy).Now am not that patient, that was one of the virtues that must have ran out while i was still waiting in line.Easy for them to say anyone who has driven a mile in my wedgies knows that its no holiday. Urrgghhhhh... to the giver please take it away like yesterday... ok pleeeeaase.
Now off to the water dispenser, wonder if i can move it closer and saveon the milage to and fro.
PS: Aunty Richie.. my dear get well soonest.

Party !

happy Blogversary.
Thanks to all named and anonymous who passed, read and those who read and left a comment. KBW family, you are the best. Now go on have some cake we are 0ne year old today!

untitled

The Art of Letting Go
by Consrael

It's over. He's gone.

Why do we have to part while
the love is still there?
Why do we have to suffer?
Why do we have to cry when
somebody bids goodbye?
Why do beginnings have an end?
Why do we have to meet
only to lose in the end?

There are questions left unanswered,
words left unsaid, letters left unread,
poems left undone, songs left unsung,
love left unexpressed,
promises left unfulfilled.

In a relationship,
one of the hardest things to do
is saying goodbye and letting go.
It is as hard as breaking a crystal
because you'll never know when you
will be able to pick up the pieces again.
More often than not, they who go,
feel not the pain of parting:
it is they who stay behind that suffer,
because they are left
with memories of a love
that was meant to be,
a love that was.

At the beginning and at the end
of a relationship,
we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone.
Unfair as it may seem,
but that's the way love goes.
That's the drama, the bittersweet
and the risk of falling in love.
After all, nothing is constant but change.
Everything will eventually come to its end
without us knowing when,
without us knowing how,
without us even knowing why.
And we must forget not because we have to
but because we have to.

In letting go, sorrows come
not as a single spy but in batallion.
It seems that everywhere you go,
everything you do,
every song you hear,
every turn of your head,
every move of your body,
every beat of your heart,
every blink of your eye and every breath
you take always reminds you of him.
It's like a stab of a knife,
a torture in the night.
Funny how the whole world
becomes depopulated
when only one person is missing.
Just imagine,
there are billion people on earth
and yet it seems you feel lonely
and empty without the other.

I don't know if it's worth calling an art,
but letting go entails
special skills sparkled
with a considerable space and time.
Time heals all wounds but it takes
a little push on our part.
Acceptance plays a part.
Not all love stories end with
"...and they live happily ever after."

Sometimes we have to part because of
circumstances beyond our control.
We have to suffer if it would
mean happiness for others.
We have to cry to
temporarily let go of the pains.
Every beginning has its end
like every dawn has its dusk.
It's something we can't control,
something we had to live up.

It's over.
He's gone. But life has to go on.
Goodbye doesn't always mean forever.
There will always be a place and time
where questions will be answered,
words will be spoken,
letters will be read,
poems will be recited in the night,
songs will be sung in harmony,
love will be expressed in solitude and
promises will be fulfilled.
Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.

Ambushed!

When I got home last night there was a blackout thanks to KPLC. That was not the problem as such since I had candlelit everything. See there is no better time than when there is blackout and all is quiet to the point where sounds you normally don’t hear seem to permeate through the walls in some special diffusion (was that the point of high concentration to points of low concentration?) the likes of conversation between neighbors.
I have a tendency of killing without fear or prejudice all mosquitoes within my reach and that of my odorless doom. Despite the fact that they claim that its odorless, it irritates my nasal like heck am left in fits of wheezing and sneezing. I have a feeling that the Mosqi Rights Association had called a meeting with yours truly as the agenda and her destruction f the species. I must confess that I do take pleasure in mosqi hunting, picture this me with a slipper on one hand and doom on the other.The slipper is for those near and the doom for those without reach. Lately I have noticed that I no longer see their light weight carcasses anymore all that is left are bloody marks.
Last night it seemed as tough a troop of mosqi army and reserves had been deployed and a few form their kiganjo on attachment since the buzzing was unceasing. I could hear the buzz harmoniously sounding like “You killed my brother dieeeee”. I could see a whole legion of ninja mosqis leaping,appearing and disappearing behind puffs of smoke like in those Jackie Chan movies.
Eventually I gave up on swinging the slipper and finally the last doom ran out. Having saved the best and last, I unleashed what the atomic bomb was to Hiroshima, am smiling smugly and unleash my mosqi net ti hi hi hi and am thinking suckers! Now am good to sleep and live to fight or is it die another day.

Economy???

Got this via mail,interesting....
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
Oh and you fight with all your might to prevent the Pakistanis from
getting anywhere near them!

You don't have any cows.
You ask the US for financial aid,China for military aid,
British for warplanes,Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,French for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,Russia for drugs
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation
by the developed world.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you and you start a long, bitter
fight to reclaim "your property".......

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally
that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You start a "shock and awe" campaign against that nation.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years,
eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are 1/10TH the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called
Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You declare it the Year of the Red Cow.
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity
and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers...


NIGERIAN ECONOMICS
Me broda yo.....
You come up with a very lucrative deal to export cows.
You don't actually have any cows but manage to somehow get a deposit from
the farmer on the deal.
You hire a cow from somewhere and export it to the farmer, but not before
it ingets some "high performance nutrient pellets"
You sell the cow but only after you have passed the airport and somehow
extracted the high nutrient pellets.
You deliver the cow which dies within days.
By then you have already moved 3 continents away and started the process
all over again.

TANZANIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows, you borrow two cows.
No one feeds them.
You hire expatriates to confirm starvation.
You hire South African expatriate veterenarians to feed the cows.
You deny the Kenyan veterenarians (who would cost much less than the South
Africans) work permits.
You claim neo-colonialism!

UGANDAN ECONOMICS
You get the guerilla cow from the bush.
It starts off by being quite productive.
The guerilla cow "styles up" and moves in to take control of the farm.
The guerilla cow becomes savvy and outsmarts all other cows on the farm.
It arrests other cows for treason and rape.
The guerilla cow then unofficially declares itself Leader of the National
Farm Movement and changes the constitution to give itself an extra term in
office.

KENYAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You eat both of them.You organize a large nyama choma bash.
Complete with a one man guitar-(by the way did you ever hear of a guitar
played by more than one man?)
Your bash irks the neighbours who cause a scene (Lucy Kibaki style) and
generates scandal in the local papers for at least a week.
You blame the former President and his regime for any shortages or
shortcomings.
You start a Commission of Inquiry to look into the matter, then vow to
have radical surgery to address the plight of those lost cows.
You hire Kroll and Associates to recover those lost(or dead cows) from the
stomachs of those who ate them.
You ignore their findings and constitute a Committee of Eminent Persons to
look at the issue afresh.
You ask donor partners to give another two cows ............to eat!

Well said

‘No, Mr President’
from the East African Standard, 13th June 06
The last six days have been humiliating for this nation. Our sovereignty has been violated. Our nationhood has been insulted. Our borders have been encroached by hostile forces. And our hospitality has been abused.

What is even more humiliating is the casual manner in which the Government has treated genuine public concern over national security.

We are concerned that the President and his minders are conveniently becoming impervious to threats to national security, prosperity and unity and are exposing the Presidency to ridicule.

Monday’s suspension of CID Director Joseph Kamau and the formation of a commission of inquiry into the Armenian saga is a good example of this for it is too little too late. As a nation, the Presidency is the one institution we all identify with, one that is supposed to be above reproach.

While the President and his family have the right to privacy, that privacy is not the single most important issue in Kenya today. Many things have gone wrong in this country, which the President’s voice — only his voice — would help straighten. Yet the only time we hear the President’s voice is when he is clarifying his family situation.

The President has failed to take unique opportunities to address much weightier matters of national concern. In the light of recent events, security is top among them.

Your Excellency, when the Armenian saga broke out in March you held your tongue, and just when Kenyans thought you had your fingers on the national pulse, you took to the podium on national television last Sunday to clarify the composition of your family. You seem to have forgotten that when you assumed office four years ago, your family grew from a nucleus to encompass all Kenyans.

As the Leader of the Official Opposition Uhuru Kenyatta said on Monday, the blame for the Armenian saga and political and security paralysis rests squarely with the President. What Kenyans want urgently is reassurance about their safety, national sovereignty and competence of institutions and the rule of law.

We have heard for a long time that the police force is divided , with the Commissioner Major General Hussein Ali trying his best to run a disciplined outfit but with the now suspended CID Director meddling. That the Commissioner was kept in the dark about the raid against the Standard Group in March — a raid planned and executed in the name of State security — is evidence of those divisions. Why do you sit by and wait for such a key institution of governance, one tasked with maintaining law and order, to degenerate?

That police received conflicting instructions as they tried to arrest the alleged Armenians last week is further evidence of these divisions. Your Excellency, don’t these things bother you? As a company we have taken unjust blows from your Government. Only in March did hooded policemen, in an operation that was patently illegal, raid us. We have sought the return of equipment confiscated from us then to no avail.

Now we have reason to be concerned at reports that tapes similar to the ones taken from our studios were found in the Armenians’ house last week. We have reason to be concerned that hoods similar to the ones worn by those who raided our premises were found in the Armenians’ house. We have reason to be concerned that the key person who ordered the raid against a legitimate business — Mr John Michuki — one who is on record defending the Armenians, continues to serve without as much as a bother about the serious implications of these revelations.

In March we recorded a statement with the police about suspicious surveillance of our offices by the Artur brothers in an unmarked car, which we saw in their compound when the police raided the place recently. Nothing was done.

As a conscientious corporate citizen, we called for the deportation of the alleged Armenians before anybody did after they asked your minister for internal security to shut up. Nobody heeded us. In fact, the minister in question subsequently defended them in our own Parliament!

When Kenyans voted for you they did so because they trusted you. In you, they saw the embodiment of national aspiration, growth and all that is good for their prosperity.

Sadly, Your Excellency, your Government has progressed from managing by crisis to thriving in paralysis. For how long can a nation operate this way? When foreigners ambush our national airport, the internal security minister goes underground. Yet the same minister does not hesitate to raid The Standard Group or other media houses critical of impunity. Indeed, the minister only a few weeks ago threatened "to do it again".

Does Government only act at the behest of foreigners? Until they drew guns against us at our most respected airport! And what a cache the police found on subsequently arresting them! Guns reserved for the presidential security unit, documents declaring them deputy police commissioners, bullet-proof vests, Government vehicles or vehicles bearing Government registration plates, gun holsters, passes giving them access to all parts of all our airports. If this does not warrant the intervention of the President what does?

Because the Government sat back as Armenians turned our national airport into poodle, the country risks isolation from the international community. The British Government is demanding an explanation for the security breach at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport by the Armenians and is concerned over the safety of their airline.

The breach could lead to suspension of British Airways flights to Kenya. Other international airlines might follow suit, and the tourism industry would be hardest hit. Should Kenyans suffer such loss for the comfort of a family, a few individuals and foreigners?

Does it occur to the Government what last week’s airport drama has done? Kenya as a transit point for serious investment and as an investment destination is severely compromised by this gangland behaviour. And all we can do is clarify family ties?

With these banana republic antics, is it difficult to see why foreign missions will now be coming to this country with their own security detail since they can no longer trust the Kenyan security agents to guarantee their safety? Imagine the number of job opportunities thus lost!

The Government appears rudderless today, and this hurts millions who invested so much hope and trust in you. We speak plainly because we believe that there is time to redress the mess. You took an oath to protect the country and the Constitution, an oath you must live to.

No Mr President: We respect your fourth clarification about your family. But, Your Excellency, it is time you looked at those who advise you with honest eyes. Michuki, his Defence counterpart Njenga Karume, Permanent Secretary Stanley Murage and Head of Public Service Francis Muthaura are leading you into an abyss.

You must also take action against the Managing Director of the Kenya Airports Authority George Muhoho for he has failed to protect our airports. And you must take action against your associates — or those using your name for ulterior motives — for their behaviour has besmirched your good name and that of your family.

And if nobody else will tell you this, we will.

Much Ado about Madaraka

We have all heard about them, the great heroes of kenya’s independence.
Koitalel Arap Samoei, Mekatilili Wa Menza , Waiyaki Wa Hinga Dedan Kimathi
Harry Thuku, Ezekiel Apindi ,Mzee Jomo Kenyatta ,Ronald Ngala ,Oginga Ondinga
James Gichuru, Daniel Arap Moi, Tom Mboya.
Yesterday I got to watch the usual independence documentary that they show on KBC, as that went on I got to think of the unsung heroes. Those whose names didn’t make the cut yet they were part of the struggle and gave up their lives for me to enjoy the freedoms that I have now.
What about the wives who had to raise children alone?
What about the children who had to live without daddy around?
What about the house helps who acted as spies knowing that if caught it would mean death?
What about those whose loved ones died at war and they never got to say goodbyeor even at least bury their dead?
What about the women who risked their lives while taking food to the warriors in the bush?
What about young men who never knew youth who had to be men before their time?
What about these people and all others whose recognition and the pat on their backs have gone to the dogs?
What about them?
I wonder what all these great patriots would think of this nation at these moments, 43 years later the nation they once shed blood, tears and sweat for.
I wonder how it felt the morning after Madaraka day, waking up a free man truly that is one feeling that we will never comprehend in totality.
So this late post is a tribute to all the unsung heroes of independence…
Last but not least “ in his book, the bridges of Toko-Ri, novelist James Michener writes movingly of heroes who fought in the Korean conflict. In the book’s final scene, an admiral stands on the darkened bridge of his carrier, waiting for pilots he know will never return from their mission; and as he waits, he asks in the silent darkness “where did we get such men?”.
Now 43 years plus later I muse to myself “where did we get these men and women?”
They say life begins at 40 I wonder if that also applies to countries if so we are lagging behind…
After all is said and done gotta say: Niu nkugwirua kutherwa mukenya meaning am proud to be Kenyan.

Going Home

Going home for me has always been something i want to do more yet i cant seem to. I live away from my folks all alone in this big bad city while my family lives out of town in Naivasha(silence, clear view of stars and clean air). Thing is this, i end going home after my ma has called to ask what happened to her daughter or after daddy calls to say he is missing me and can i come home? Mostly this trips are split-second decisons where my bags are packed or sometimes not and am off next minute, am knocking at my mom's. I have no idea why i call home my mom's i hardly say am going home i always say am off to ma's.
So in another one of those flashes i packed up on sartuday and was off home. Its only an hour and half to my mom's and after blacking out in the matatu i woke up just in time to say "shukisha hapo kwa bumps" (loosely translated i alight after the bumps).
So i walk in and the door is open so as i walk in my nieces peep and suddenly the "auntie auntie" chants are on. Hugs here and there mostly here and shortly am served with tea (insert KETEPA advert here) talk of great home coming. In comes my nephews as usual auntie umeleta nini(auntie what have you brought)bunch of golddiggers. We sit to talk to my sister who is visiting with my folks, you know the usual how is so and so and the other... Much later my mom pops in , my fave seat is sorta hidden and you have to be all in before you realize that there is someone seating there. More hugs and how have you beens?.Now to my mother i always lose weight, look tired, not eating enough among others. I wonder whether a day is coming when i will have taken care of myself well and added weight etc at this rate never since the same applies to my sisters who are married and away by now.
So jib jib jib then much later my dad, same story different cast. Here we talk soccer( boohoo) he teases me about arsenal losing, worldcup, work, life in general and yeah when am i bringing my friends home(read boyfi) which is loudly echoed by ma who reminds me that so and so's daufghter who got married now has a baby boy(good for her, who cares. After watching the Bold and the Beautiful, Yes, you read right my folks follow ir religiously guess it would happen to anyone who is retired and all ti hi hi with ma telling the story so far filled with he opinion and occasiona expression of disgust at Brook Logan or the other.Ma thinks stephany Forrester is just the bomb ati she fights for her family. We end up talking till late with conversation ranging from family to relatives and everything in between.
Sunday morning, is it just me or have telepreachers increased by a hundred fold i mean any channel you flip there is some preacherman casting demons away, promising hell and brimstone so i choose to sit outside and bask something i never have time for as i sip on my tea and maandazi(not mahamri i know).
Sooner than later we prepare to go to church. My mom still critizes what am wearing at the moment lose the sweater but am cold but nooo lose it so as usual i say yes but dont lose it.This is a big deal for me because i was brought up in this church from back in sunday school days to youth over holiday(what went wrong) plus almost everyone saw me grow up and call most of them by auntie now that they are my mom's girls clique.
Now these are presbyterians, the music is hymnal and then choruses men, the kikuyu songs that eveyone else know except me but i can dance so i proceed with the later.Did i say i chocked on the believer's Creed and had to read it out, but it was in kiswahili (imani ya mitume). Then the children, youth, women's guild then the men's fellowship sing LOL at my dad singing. Now, the sermon is in kyuk you know the full hell and brimstones, couldn't be scarier, then the hugs again now from my million aunties with the same story of you have lost weight and why dont you come home more oft, my mom chirping in the back i have been telling her the same thing... Few daring ones ask when am bring that man home, i smile and say soon... which seems satisfactory for the time being.
Off to sunday lunch which is unspokenly by-law Pilau, more bonding over repeat program of Wrestling RAW is WAR he he he. Around 4pm i figure i must get back so i have to find a way to carry all the goodies(read vegetables and fruits endless)that are meant to fatten me up before the next visit. So after my mom's prayer's for a safe journey and all which i must admit always leave me teary eyed.
Back to my house, alone again...hmmph cant wait to be home again.
AOB
do you remember this:-
Christ is the head of this house,
the unseen guest at every meal
the silent visitor to every conversation

Yaaay

Its Friday at 4pm, am shutting down reason its that time of the montn when we do the office TGIF. Tihs translates to small talk but above all free booze and soft drinks plus cake all on the employers pocket for me it cant get any better.
Off to drink...
Will have one for each one of you

How Much Longer...

He is leaving again at 4pm and he just got here last night. Gish is missing her Daktari today more than other days . Its been a while since she saw the doctor reason being that the doc has been working too hard. He has been out of town courtesy of his job for days on end only to be back for the night or day when Gish is at work then leave again in the evening. I have not seen him for 2 weeks now for me that is too long to have to wait. I miss him a lot actually too much really I couldn’t see him soon enough.
See I don’t have a lot of people close to me apart from my family I only got my sister-friend ann and daktari. These are the two people who know me better than anyone else. This man is my best friend, the one I run to with anything I mean literally anything. We have been communicating via SMS and calls when he gets here, that is simply not good enough for me. As far as am concerned, I want him here with me and until I have him in these hands of mine then all is not well.
I knew from the beginning from his line of work that he would be away but I never thought it would be this way. Initially I got mad, sulked, accused him to ann of staying away from me. Then this weekend, I got to thinking how unfair I was to him. He gets very tired and instead of understanding and supporting him I have just been acting up. So I let him know that I was sorry for the times when I have been unreasonable and unsupportive and being the good man I have come to know he calls me just to let me know that its ok. Phew! That was close almost screwed up the very thing that I treasure. Why am i ranting because i was going to see him today so now we have to reschedule for he leaves again tonight.

Some of the things that make him so special are:
>His love, passiona nd pursuit of God that i cant resist.
>His love for family and by my standards, he is a great father done such a wonderful job with his son.(and no he aint married!)
>He shares his life experiences with me seeing as he has been here longer than i have.
>From his experiences,he is been through drama yet he has come out better guess it goes with his faith in God.
>He is nothing close to perfect which annoys the heck out of me yet works for me since i aint either.We fight yet always seem to find a way to make up and compromise
> He has made me a better person and impacted my life in ways that i never thought of especially with regards to my relationship with God and family.
This man is alot of things to me.He is my best friend first then any other. Till then
I Can't Wait to Be with You Again

You don't know
how much I miss you
I live each day
as it comes
functioning in all my tasks
smiling when needed
even laughing at times
but inside I am so alone
each minute seems like an hour
each hour seems like a day
What makes this time bearable
are my thoughts of you and
knowing that I will
be with you soon


-Poem by Susan Polis Schutz

Monday again!

So instead of working i am surfing (bite me), and i came across www.reverendfun.com so here goes:-
Akiey :)

And since i didnt make to church was working yesterday,

and being two mondays to payday,

Have a great Monday and yes SMILE.

Veni Vidi Vodka...

Last weekend was just the one from Saturday to Sunday to Monday tsk tsk tsk…
So we left Nairobi around 3pm headed to the shores of Lake Naivasha more specifically Crayfish Camp. In the car my girl and another friend, after a couple of mugithi songs, some soul, zilizopendwa and rock we got to naivasha in an hour. So we have to check in at the reception. At this point I must admit that initially the main intention was to party with one of our all time favorite bands the Weavers Band. I do realize that this could be what they say ati those things you didn’t do when you were young will come back in old age. This weekend was laced with an offer for Kshs.3500 this included accommodation, food, lots of music and dancing, goat eating at midnight and the best of all an open bar all night (translates to Last Person Standing). That plus the company, jus the people who hang out with at the band was enough incentive to get me to naivasha. Now Weavers’s band is special to me because they play really good music (variety) plus over time I have come to know a couple of them closely (not KM knowing).
So am at the reception, we ask the lady there if the band is already there and she says what band? So I call my dear N and ask where the heck they are? When he finishes laughing he says the whole thing was cancelled. I relay the good news to my crew and we proceed to check in, we are taken to this really nice banda and where we proceed to freshen up. From there following Sammie’s advice, to the choma zone where meat is thoroughly organized, see the beauty is that you don’t wait its already prepared. Some Vicky and Richy (read as Viceroy and Richot Brandy) like that as we wait..Nakeel you would have been a very proud auntie...
After the meal, to the bar where we sit at the porch with a jiko provided then al the drinks flow from there… as we hang out in the bar we are informed that there is a disco(seriously the exact words) today and he points to the venue…
Let’s say some x number of shots later with a Smirnoff black ice as chaser, with my girl wanting to dance on the table, we were really ready to disco. To the disco, now this is a country disco in that you pay the cover charge, then they use some rubberstamp to leave some mark on your hand then you are in.

Now the disco is just a hall the floor is not cemented though not dusty seems water had been poured, then sambucca shots, then the dancing. Its like out of town Jack Swing you know coz the music they were playing was really old e.g. Murder She Wrote, you shoulda see the pirate dance involved in this story. Then back to the banda to drop a few things off now on my way back I bump into this clique that had a bonfire but were speaking in kikuyu. As I pass I hear the joke and I start laughing shortly am invited and since I can’t pass up an invite so I sit and soon beer at hand we talk away some men vs. Women vibe though in kikuyu now with some mugithi playing in the back from the car.
After a while I ran away literally gave some flimsy excuse then hightailed back to the disco lets just say I was there till 6 in the morning when I found my way to my room only to be woken up by housekeeping at 10am. Then to the lake dipped my feet in the water and just chilled, the quiet peace till you can hear yourself think utter bliss just the remedy for a hangover.
Later in the day, to the Delamere place for some nyama choma again, takeaway yoghurt plenty of fresh fruits and veges oh, and chocolate chip vanilla ice cream.Then Back to Nairobi just in time to catch Weavers Band at Pizza G(bango kibao), then from there straight to Psys(read size) Bar Langata Shopping Centre,where there was a blackout but like 30 mins later the lights came back on . Kidogo Calabash Band with some Rock then after that local music i mean really local like Osovo Lucy that Kamba song that just brings the shags mudu out of everyone.
Got home at 5:30am, Akiey, could it be that insomnia can be contracted via chat hmmm....
Aside:
Oh yeah got me a new crash pad, diggings, digs, parking place... wooohooo.
Pole sana kwa Man U fans Kichapo from Chelsea then not one 3 bila jibu ata wewe ... sijui niseme?

counting down....

This weekend tarehe 29th April Inshallah:
First to a place on the shores of Lake Naivasha, Crayfish Camp

then is moto

Alafu from Ice black (singen'ge) to Johny Walker(Yohana Mtembezi) to nakeel si you jua mama Vicky na Richi

NOw from there is the full "muthungutho" all night



On monday

Every Woman

Got this in the mail, sorry men you will figure something out... Lets see what you have.
What Every Woman Should Have:

* One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to (even if you wouldn't) and one who reminds you of how far you've come.

* Enough money within your control to move out and rent a place on your own, even if you never want or need to.

* Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

* A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.

* A youth you're content to move beyond.

* A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

* A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.

* One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

* A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

* Eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored.

* A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.

* A feeling of control over your destiny.

* A skin care regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.

* A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

Every Woman Should Know:

* How to fall in love without losing yourself.

* How you feel about having kids.

* How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

* When to try harder and when to walk away.

* How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.

* How to have a good time at a party you'd never choose to attend.

* How to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it.

* That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.

* That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.

* What you would and wouldn't do for love or money.

* How to live alone, even if you don't like it.

* Who you can trust, who you can't, and why you shouldn't take it personally.

* Where to go - be it your best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn hidden in the woods - when your soul needs soothing.

* What you can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.

* Why they say life begins at 30.

:)

Palm Sunday

Its glorious Palm Sunday. Let peace and goodwill reign in all the earth and in KBW as well. As we gear up to Easter and all that comes with it i pray that the meaning of this great time does not get lost in our busy travel and rest schedules.



I wonder what does the cross of Jesus(whom i believe in in totality)mean to you?
It's a reminder of a friend who chose to do that which no other person could.
It's the symbol of love in perfection,love as God intended it to be.
It's my liberation, my resting place where i lay my burdens are laid to rest.
It's a symbol of sacrifice, selflessness the giving of oneself completely.
It's a reminder that all iam and have is a priviledge that i deserve nothing.
It is more than words can express and do justice....
Happy Palm sunday and i extend peace, God's Peace.

Dont Know Why?

Don’t know why I didn’t call, write or text you
Don’t know why when you came close I shrunk back
Don’t know why when you’re not here I long so much for you
Don’t know why am dotting yet have lots to say when apart
Still don’t know why?

Don’t know why I can’t seem to do right by you
Don’t know hwy I can’t get you out of my mind
Don’t know why my heart skips at the sight of you
Don’t know why at the thought of you I can’t help but smile
Still don’t know why?

Don’t know why I wish you were in my arms and I in yours
Don’t know why you have such an impact on me
Don’t know why memories of moments shared linger
Don’t know why I can’t explain a lot of things
Still don’t know why?

Though,
I know that your friendship means a lot to me
I know that I’d love to spend more time with you
I know that you’re great company and treasure times shared
I know this without a shadow of doubt

So this is my invitation to you
An invitation to walk through this door that’s open
That’s leading to an offer of friendship
Pray that you would say “Yes”.

Download Kenyan Music

Check out the following link:-
http://80.240.192.77/mymusic/ or www.mymusic.co.ke
proudly in partnership with where i spend my day.
gimme your maoni and tuma salamu oh by the way dont forget to put your akas the true tanzania style.

Why are you still single?

By Jerusha Stewart

So you really and truly want to be in a relationship but find yourself singing solo in the shower? Do you know you’re a great catch but can’t figure out why you’re not paired up like most of your pals? Unwittingly, you could be engaging in a little self-sabotage when it comes to finding your special someone. With a little digging you can uncover the silent saboteurs preventing you from achieving “I’m taken” status—and learn how to overcome them.

Silent saboteur #1: You’re ignoring your relationship needs. Often people with a lot on their plate will say that they’re open to a relationship and are willing to make room for one. But in reality they’re not. Some tell-tale signs: Every time your co-workers or friends extend an invitation to join them for a little after-work socializing, some unfinished project on your desk convinces you to say, “Not tonight, but once my workload lightens up” (as in, never). Or, you find yourself saying things like “I’ll start really looking for someone once I get my promotion/graduate degree/finances in order” (which, alas, may not be any time soon).

Solution: Put yourself first. Have an honest chat with yourself: Do you really want a romantic relationship in your life right now? If the answer is yes, make at least one step toward carving out some space for it, whether that’s signing up for online dating, telling all your friends and family you’re open to a set-up, or establishing a once-a-week night out with your single friends. And don’t let a few bad dates drive you back to your workaholic ways—once you have a good one and see what you’ve been missing, you’ll understand what all the hubbub is about.

Silent saboteur #2: You’re too quick to decide whether you’re interested. In today’s fast-paced culture, it seems natural to decide whether someone’s right for you in, oh, about three seconds. Alanna Rayford of San Francisco often cuts flattering male attention short. “In the first five seconds I know whether or not I’m going to continue to have a conversation,” she confesses. But think about it: Most of us aren’t great at making a killer first impression. “It sure could explain why I haven’t had a date in a year,” Alanna continues. “I don’t give men a chance to show me who they are. A little patience would probably help.”

Solution: Avoid making snap judgments. If you find yourself making snap judgments like Alanna, adopt these two new rules to end your dating drought. Rule one: Promise yourself to withhold any dateability decisions about someone until after a cup of coffee (the whole thing, not the first two sips). You should be able to talk to anyone for as long it takes to drink a latte. Rule two: Adopt a second-date rule. If you like the person, even just a little bit, make plans to see them again. At that point, you two should both be more relaxed and ready to reveal your true selves.

Silent saboteur #3: You’ve got options but none are “good enough”.We’re not saying you shouldn’t have standards. But see what your friends (especially the single ones) think of your prospects. If none of them get why you didn’t follow up with that person you thought was, oh, an inch too short (or too tall), or a freak because he wore a bolo tie, then you could be guilty of having too many must-have traits on your list.

Solution: Re-evaluate what’s really important. We all have our best-case scenario in terms of height, weight, hair color, and so forth in a partner. But how many relationships do you know where two people in a couple fit that wish list to a tee? None or not many, most likely—which is all the more reason why should you probably take a closer look at the qualities you deem ideal, or deal-breakers, on a date. A solid relationship is more often based on shared values and common interests—so make sure you keep those things in mind on your next date rather than obsessing about his too-short trousers.

Silent saboteur #4: You’re not entirely over your ex. You and your ex are history... so what’s up with the long, warm-and-fuzzy phone conversations to “check in” with each other? Sure it seems harmless. But if you find yourself comparing every new potential love interest to this former flame (or if you conveniently “forget” to tell your ex about the people you’re dating), then it could mean you’re still harboring some feelings for the one who got away, which makes it difficult to really focus on someone new.

Solution: Give yourself permission to meet someone new. You could be holding on to your past because you haven’t been building your post-breakup support network—a mix of friends and family members you can comfortably dial for no reason at all. Weaning yourself off your ex can be hard, but it largely comes down to re-directing those impulse calls. The next time you’re tempted to call your ex to vent about something awful that happened at work or just something funny that happened you’re dying to share, resist the urge and call someone else, like your mom. Over time, you’ll stop thinking about your ex so much, leaving you more open to meeting your next one-and-only.

Silent saboteur #5: Your attitude leaves a bad taste in the hearts and minds of others. When you’re out on a date, do you find the conversation generally veering toward your dimwit boss, dysfunctional relatives, dating horror stories, or some other “poor me” tale? You may think these stories are funny (and they very well may be), but after a while, anyone listening is going to wonder: “Why would I want to join this pity party?” and steer clear.

Solution: Get an attitude adjustment. Hey, we’ve all got problems. And while the blues are fine in stereo, very few people want a personal serenade. Putting your best foot forward all wrapped up in positive packaging makes you a much more attractive companion. Just because someone’s agreed to spend time with you doesn’t mean they’ve agreed to spend it as your therapist, so accept the dating process for what it is: A chance to get to know someone better, not vent. Stick to more positive stories and see if you don’t find yourself in a more positive place, dating-wise.

Jerusha Stewart, a.k.a. The Last Single Girl in the World, reveals how to be singularly sensational in her book The Single Girl’s Manifesta.